We’ll admit these two things. We love video games and we’re super, nay, extremely competitive. Which is why as far as we’re concerned there’s nothing like kicking back and playing Madden, PGA Tour or even Techmo Bowl for hours on end with our friends. Sometimes, the game can get a little out of hand. Not necessarily because one gamer is better than the other, but sometimes because certain athletes in the game are just a tad bit too good. We’re not talking “Fat Guy” versus “Skinny Guy” in Ice Hockey. These athletes go above and beyond what is generally deemed fair in the world of competitive gaming.
5. Tiger Woods “PGA Tour”
This pertains to any of the 12 versions of this game. The reason why Tiger? Well he can outdrive anyone with ease. And since it’s a videogame, he doesn’t have all those “mental” problems stemming from that messy divorce (too soon?). We suppose it’s only fair since his name is on the box, but we’d prefer not to have to play against him. Ever.
4. Michael Vick in “Madden 2004”
Back in the early 2000s Vick was blowing up the league with his freakishly fast speed. There was a problem though, he wasn’t the most accurate quarterback in the world. Too bad that didn’t matter in Madden 2004. It didn’t matter whether you blitzed, dropped back in coverage or channeled your inner Rex Ryan, Vick was going to get that first down 99% of the time.
3. Mike Tyson in “Punch-Out”
One punch. That’s all it took for Tyson to knock out Little Mac. It just wasn’t fair. To think that Little Mac trained day and night to defeat Tyson and all he had to do was hit him with an uppercut to end the bout. Get your head in the game, Mac!
2. Michael Jordan / Player 99 in “NBA Live ‘96”
Jordan had his own trademark back in 1996, which is why he wasn’t actually in the game. So, the NBA Live folks created a shooting guard on the Bulls named “Player 99”. He was not only as good as Jordan, but he was better. Sorry Bulls fans, there actually is someone better than Jordan, but it’s not LeBron or Kobe, it’s Player 99.
1. Bo Jackson and Lawrence Taylor in “Techmo Bowl”
This top spot is for both Bo Jackson and Lawrence Taylor. Jackson, on offense, was/is the greatest video game athlete of all time. Once he got out around an outside block he was gone. A touchdown every time! The dude was so quick he could run for 300 yards… in the first quarter! Then there was LT, who on defense was a beast. His thing was blocking extra points and field goals. Really, if you were playing the Giants just don’t bother kicking an extra point. And if you see Taylor blitzing; run, don’t throw! He was fast enough to sack the QB or drop back and pick off any pass. And unlike real life, you couldn’t throw LT off his game by sending prostitutes over to his hotel room the night before.
Tom Lorenzo is a freelance writer and journalist from New York City, covering sports, music and pop culture. You can follow him on Twitter @TomLorenzo.
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