It’s been a hell of year here in the Weekender Man Cave. Across all of the various media, we’ve gone through an impressive year. We saw movies that were chock full of badasses, hotties, zombie, sharks, and every combination in between. We heard tunes that made us want to grow back our headbanging hair, or at least bust out some air guitar solos. And we played games so good that even the best of us end up wearing potato-chip-covered sweatpants for three days straight. As the release calendar winds down post-Christmas, we’ve decided to take a look at the most Man-Cave-tastic releases that came our way in 2011 – part one was last week, and the thrilling conclusion is below.
5. Fast Five
You could hardly ask for a better action all-star cast in 2011. Wrapping up the series with an all-or-nothing heist in Rio, Vin is joined by Paul Walker once more, as well as Fast alums Jordanna Brewster, Ludacris, Tyrese Gibson, Eva Mendes, and many more. The gang trades in street races for one big heist, and there’s as much gunfire as there is burning rubber. Just in case the reunion isn’t enough, Newcomer Gal Gadot definitely leaves an impression, and Dwayne Johnson “The Rock” Johnson puts the icing on the cake.
At this point, your grandmother knows who Rockstar is. After making their name with games like GTA and Red Dead Revolver, the company put out their most ambitious title yet. L.A. Noire’s gameplay is set around a classic Hollywood caper, and the player assumes the role of police trying to get to the bottom of it by good ol’ fashioned interrogation. Naturally, there are some liars in town, so you’ll have to read the expressions and ticks of real-life actors as their actions are mapped onto the various pimps, whores and thugs of L.A. And it wouldn’t be a Rockstar game without a couple occasions when you just need to sock the right person in the gut to get what you’re looking for. Throw in awesome extras like the “Reefer Madness DLC missions, and you’ve easily got one of the best games of the year.
Are being nerdy and manly mutually exclusive anymore? Sure, Dungeons and Dragons might still be a bit much for most guys, but what about killing dragons? The Elder Scolls series has some World of Warcraft elements to it, but it doesn’t require you to talk on a headset with teenagers in Norway whose only English is very creative swear words. Skyrim’s world is open and dynamically interactive – you can go mess around on side-quests and think of it like a Grand Theft Auto with swords.
It’s hard enough to find a 32-year-old rapper these days, let alone a 32-year-old rap career. Throw in the fact that the Beastie Boys are three Jewish white boys, that they launched their rap career with a prank phone call to an ice cream company, and that they’ve had several multi-platinum albums, and they’re pretty much the least likely rap group of all time. Hot Sauce Committee Pt. 2 finds them showing off their usual blend of funky, feedback-laced rap, with special guests Nas and Santigold doing their best to keep up with the trio’s weird world.
1. 13 Assassins
Takashi Miike has made some pretty violent movies, but don’t think 13 Assassins is a gorefest. In the tradition of Seven Samurai, Miike’s take focuses on an ensemble of professional killers united in one noble cause. In this case, Lord Naritsugu has been abusing his position, and things will only get worse if he moves his way up to the throne. With 11 other assassins and a mysterious mountain man, the gang entrap and attack a suicidally large army that is protecting Naritsugu, and the rest is non-stop pure Man Cave action.
Happy New Year! See you back in the Man Cave in 2012.