ThinkGeek iCADE 8-Bitty/$24

If your mobile device or tablet can become a game console, then why can’t you carry an arcade game controller in your pocket? Go 8-bit postal on any game that can sync with this battery-powered pocket D-Pad controller. Buttons, you want buttons? It has a full set just like it was a NES controller in your hand. Bluetooth takes care of the connection between your smartphone or tablet so you can go cordless.

4Kidz, Inc.

Wild Planet Test Tube Aliens/$19

Pop the alien in the test tube, add water and watch him fizz to life amidst blinking lights. Now that’s he’s up, super-size him with daily rations from his planet until he reaches full size (about 14 days). You can keep this gross guy “alive” over the course of a year while keeping the threat of an anal probe on the table.

USAopoly

USAopoly MONOPOLY: Futurama Collector’s Edition/$31

Play monopoly in the 30th Century — see, the Mayans got it wrong as we’re still here. If by here, you mean Bender and his shiny metal ass, or any of the other crew of the Planetary Express. And good news everyone, there’s custom-built houses and hotels to mesh with the artwork of a future we can only hope never happens.

Marshmallow Fun Co.

Marshmallow Fun Company Marshmallow Rapid Fire/$49

It may look like one humongous super-soaker, but this blaster doesn’t dribble, it shoots sugar. Specifically soft squishy mini-marshmallows. Load the magazine to capacity (that’s 25 puffs in all), pump the air chamber and let fly one or all that can travel up to 40 feet. Name me another weapon that lets you eat the ammo if there isn’t anything to fire at.

Jakks Pacific

Jakks Pacific SpyNet Ultra–Vision/$49None of the guys in your dorm, and maybe the local police will care that these night vision binoculars are supposed to be a “toy,” especially since it records video and takes pics up to 50 feet away in total darkness or when using the thermal imaging mode. Using it during the day as regular binocs is about as innocuous as you’re going to get.

Jakks Pacific The Walking Dead Deluxe TV Game/$39

Take this over to the biggest TV you can find and plug it in before pulling out the pump-action shotgun controller. Then show your Zombie shooting skills to the adoring (or amused, at least) audience — remember, head shots always work best. It’s based off the AMC series, like you care. But at least it’s not rated “E,” unless “Everyone” likes blowing chunks out of the living dead.

Jakks Pacific

Jakks Pacific Action Shot Camera/$49

Capturing that stunt first-hand means a vid-camera needs to be right on your head or skateboard or bike. Since this guy is tiny and records up to 20 minutes at a clip, there’s plenty of time for any of a number of “Jackass” type stunts before offloading the vid from the USB socket. Spend a few more bucks and put it in a waterproof or high-impact case and then use the cam mount kit to hold it in place. Flash attachment and video-viewing eyepiece give you more options too.

Wild Planet

Wild Planet Motion Tracker/$34

Maybe there’s no Samson’s in Slumber-land, but by placing these two motion-detecting sensor pads within 75 feet of where you are — you’ll get a wake up call when somebody is passing too close for comfort. That’s because you’re being warned by the LCD screen flashing where the sensor is located, aided by audio cues. And the screen’s wrapped around your wrist while the radio frequencies keep you connected.

Swann

Swann Black Swann/$99

Just ‘cause the RC chopper is flying around inside, shooting vid and taking pics, that’s no reason it needs to be noticed. So use all of the 110 feet of distance it gives you and go for stealth. Stick your own SD card inside and you’ll run out of flying power long before you run out of memory. 3 channel RF controller to use and it’s one way to get ready for those drones the government plans to be flying over you soon.

The Maya Group

The Maya Group SuperXMoto/TBD

RC bikes aren’t wimpy like RC cars. If you have the right kind of ramp and enough oomph in the motor, a radio-controlled dirt bike can jump 10-foot distances with no problems and then do a backflip — yeah, that’s right, just like the opening trick at a Freestyle Motor-cross event. There’s heavy-duty suspension to ensure that difficult, bone-jarring stunts are no big deal on the wheels either.

Hasbro

Hasbro Nerf Lazer Tag/$69-pair ($35ea)

Chasing after someone to shoot them with a “laser” was once cool. But now it’s even cooler since the “lazer” gun docks an iPhone/iPod touch to add a touch-sensitive viewing screen for tracking your foes. Running the Nerf app provides the power-ups and bonuses that can only come from having a true aim. Even better than all this “augmented reality”view is that the range of your blasts goes all the way out to 250 feet so nobody is ever going to be safe again.

K’NEX

K’NEX Angry Birds “T Minus Never” Building Set/$29

Get your hands dirty by knocking off those pigs with Angry Birds in a building set you’ve constructed. Specifically a “T-Minus Never” building of over 170 parts to populate with pigs. Then blow up the pigs and the structure with Angry Birds fired from your firing launcher.

SPIN MASTER

SPIN MASTER Air Hogs Battle Tracker/$99

So you can fly a RC chopper — if you’re so tough, try taking out an automated tracking platform that locks on to your position and fires automatically. Or let somebody else fly the chopper and manually shoot it down yourself with a barrage of 12 foam missiles. And yeah, the chopper fires so it can disable the platform first.

SPIN MASTER

SPIN MASTER Air Hogs 1:24” scale R/C Nascar/$29

The best R/C is a simple R/C — actually it’s one based off of a NASCAR design, like Dale Earnhardt Jr (Amp Energy or National Guard), Tony Stewart (Office Depot) or Jimmy Johnson’s (Lowe’s) cars. Start your engines and control whichever one you got from up to 30 feet away. Multiple radio frequencies means you can race anybody else who gets in your way.

JADS

JADS International The Avengers Cologne Set/T$59You’re no Superhero, but at least you’ll smell like one since this 4-pack has you covered: Patriot Cologne: Your Attack Plan slings a shield at those who come near, while Mark VII Cologne: Armor repulses the competition. There’s a Thor scent but don’t leave Hulk SMASH! for last. You don’t want to smell like you’re angry!