Reporting Luis Prada
NBA stars have a tendency to believe they can do no wrong. When a foul is inevitably called on them, they’re reactions vary between extreme displeasure to on the brink of a catastrophic mental breakdown due to the laws of the universe being shattered by an vengeful god — black is white; up is down; “How dare YOU! I am physically incapable of inadvertently harming humans!”
Little do these players know that while they plead their case to a referee, many of the people sitting around the court are professional photographers waiting patiently for a facial expression that will perfectly sum up the game when placed under a newspaper headline the next day.
Let’s examine some of those faces.
In this photo, we see Boston Celtics star Kevin Garnett attempting to tap in to his inner chi to produce a blue ball of pure energy that he will fire at the referee. In the background, Paul Pearce informs the ref of the insane magiks he will be obliterated by.
We see LeBron James reacting to a foul by channeling the awe-inspired horror felt by a bystander witnessing the Hindenburg disaster. Some can also interpret this reaction as being similar to the reaction caused by waking up really early on a Saturday and spending 12 hours building a new backyard deck, only to hammer the final nail and, thus, cause the collapse of the entire structure.
In this photograph featuring Lakers star Kobe Bryant, we see Kobe voicing his displeasure with the foul call. Not pictured is the mouse on the court, the couch on which Kobe jumped, and the broom he used to swat at the mouse.
This picture was taken mere moments after Pau was called for a foul he did not agree with and mere moments before he ripped out the referee’s spine like a Mortal Kombat fatality.
In this instance, Tony Parker of the San Antonio Spurs believes the unfairness of the call is on par with watching the referee’s head spilt open to reveal the zombified face of the man he could have sworn he killed two years ago.
Here we see Monta Ellis conveying his displeasure with a referee’s call by analogizing his reaction to said call with having a thumb spontaneously rammed in his ass.
Here we see Spurs star Tim Duncan consoling Manu Ginobili after Manu’s older brother broke his Power Ranger action figure. It was the White Ranger.
In order to make the referee better understand the inaccuracy of the foul call, Steve Nash attempted to push his own skull through his skin with sheer force of will.
Baby, we’ve been dating a long time now, so let’s take this photo-analysis thing to the next level with Life Lessons Learned from GIFS.