by Jacopo della Quercia

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that days like today would be known as…

God Bless This Mess

The Council of Clermont assembles in France in 1095 to discuss whether or not to launch the First Crusade into the Holy Land. They do, and their decision to do so remains one of the biggest turning points in geopolitical video game history.

Assassin’s Creed exists because of this painting.

Juan es su nombre

Christopher Columbus lands on Puerto Rico in 1493 and names it San Juan Bautista after John the Baptist. Naturally, it probably already had a name before that by the people who lived there, but this is Columbus we’re talking about.

“No matter what the cost, I’ll take it for free.”

Short and Sweet

Abraham Lincoln delivers his Gettysburg Address, perhaps the single most famous speech in US history, in 1863. It has since been recited by actors, memorized by schoolchildren, and etched in stone for over a century despite being only ten sentences long.

Lincoln, either reflecting on his legacy or composing a tweet.

In Soviet Russia…

Soviet forces under General Georgy Zhukov launch Operation Uranus in 1942. The massive counterattack envelops the Axis forces at Stalingrad, and signals the turning of one of the most important battles in modern history.

“Watch your ass!”

Lowered Expectations

The Ford Motor Company announces in 1959 that its unpopular Edsel model will be discontinued. Despite being widely ridiculed as one of the biggest failures in automotive history, a mint-condition model can sell for well over $100,000 today.

What Indiana Jones will be looking for in future movies.

The Other Guys

Apollo 12 astronauts Pete Conrad and Alan Bean become and third and fourth humans to walk on the Moon. Despite there being vastly fewer films on their exploits than the Apollo 11 or Apollo 13 astronauts, the crew of Apollo 12 enjoy the rare distinction of having successfully sneaked porno along with them.

In space, no one can hear you masturbate.

Holy Balls!

Pelé scores his 1,000th goal in football. Ever a class act, he dedicates the remarkable feat to the impoverished children of Brazil, and his footprints are preserved at Maracanā Stadium.

a.k.a The Mecca of the Southern Hemisphere.

All or Nothing

Milli Vanilli are stripped of their 1990 Grammy Award for Best New Artist. Just about everyone on the planet believes they got what they deserved.

If you never won a Grammy, don’t worry. Neither did these two.

Absolutely incredible, November 19. We can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow your prominent place in the hall of badass history. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what you did here.

Lesser parties get medieval. This one went full Renaissance.

Does anyone else hear fiddling?

Jacopo is MCD’s resident historian and keeper of the badass flame. Check out This Badass Day in History: October 30 and This Badass Day in History: October 9.