We, the writers and editors of Man Cave Daily, do hereby declare our irrevocable determination that this eleventh day of December shall henceforth be known as…
My Big Fat Greek Murder
Emperor Nikephoros II Phokas of the Byzantine Empire is assassinated by his wife Theophano and her lover, who incidentally was also Nikephoros’ nephew. Despite leading some of the most brilliant military campaigns in Byzantine history, Nikephoros suffered the indignity of having his head cut off and his body thrown out a window.
Another One Bites the Dust
Llywelyn the Last, the suitably named last prince of independent Wales, is killed at the Battle of Orewin Bridge.
In Living Color
The first color motion picture shown in the US debuts at Madison Square Garden in 1909. The film featured “2,000 children in formation as a giant, live Stars and Stripes” using a process called Kinemacolor, which while groundbreaking back then would probably come off as pretty boring today.
A Royal Pain
King-Emperor Edward VIII of the British Empire abdicates his throne as to marry a twice-married American socialite who may or may not have been a Nazi sympathizer. Fortunately for the blossoming new couple, Edward may or may not have been a Nazi sympathizer as well.
Germany and Italy declare war on the US following the US Congress’ declaration of war against Japan in 1941. Since not a single German or Italian participated in the attack on Pearl Harbor, Hitler and Mussolini ended up sparing FDR the daunting task of convincing Congress to declare war on them first.
The Japanese begin their invasion of Wake Island in 1941. According to Pulp Fiction, Butch Coolidge’s granddad Dane Coolidge would have been around to see this.
Joltin’ Joe Jolts
Joe DiMaggio announces his retirement from baseball in 1951. Three years later, he marries Marilyn Monroe for only 274 days.
Close, But No Cigar
Better Than Citibank
The great Lufthansa heist of 1971. Nearly $6 million in cash and jewels are stolen from John F. Kennedy International Airport by the cast of Goodfellas.
For those of you keeping track, that’s incestuous assassinations, Nazi conspiracies, movie premieres and Marilyn Monroe all rolled into one day. In short, a soon-to-be-titled follow up to Inglourious Basterds.