Cannibal Cop had it all wrong: OKC is about taking hot women to dinner, not heating women up for dinner. But what’s a single guy (or a “sweet meat” salivating nut job) to do when it comes to the Lazy Susan of dating delights in a city overpopulated with hot chicks? The quick answer: Get her interested in your profile by staying above the fray (as someone who spent a year on OKC in NYC, I can vouch for there being a whole lotta fray). Follow these three maneuvers to get things cooking:
Keep Your Summary Short and Sweet (And Chick Approved)
Men seem to fall into two categories when it comes to the writing department: They either convey too little or they include way too much. Writing is an art, especially when you’re in salesmanship mode, so keep your paragraph (one or two, please) upbeat and kind by briefly describing your current life and what you’d like out of a relationship / dating. Have you listed the cleverest six items you can’t live without or the funniest line about what you’re typically doing on a Friday night? Get a second pair of eyes (belonging to a female, ideally a gal pal or friendly ex) to give your profile a once over for quality control purposes.
Resist Replying To Every Girl
The attention your profile may receive can be awesome—especially when you’re the new guy on OKC. But nothing says player or worse, overeager, than having a “Replies Frequently” status. Why should you dread that little green circle next to the Message tab? Because this isn’t online dating in the 21st century, it’s Darwinian Survival of the Fittest, and we’re not looking for the dime-a-dozen green guy. We’re drawn to the discerning gentleman who fits the yellow (“Replies Selectively”) or red button (“Replies Very Selectively”). It makes us more curious to message your profile—and more excited when we make the cut. As for the IM option, keep the instant chit chat to a minimum…if we see you’re IMing all the time, we begin to wonder if you’re a creepy chat room sorta guy rather than a prospective date.
Three Pictures Ideally. No More Than Five
We get it: You look hot without your shirt on. And you’re dying to include the beach bod shot from Thailand to demonstrate you’re both ripped and worldly, but…please don’t. By all means, we’d love to see a full body shot of you on the slopes or hugging your little sister at her college graduation, but let’s save your nipples for another day. Also, go for a couple images that really capture the authentic you (so long as it’s not a pull-my-finger action shot) rather than a glossy headshot. Make sure your pics are from the last 12 months and again, get a girl’s opinion before posting!
OKC is a favorite pastime for a huge number of single men and women, especially in New York. Just remember that guys and girls measure online dating success differently. Keep that Lazy Susan in mind: Even beautiful, awesome women are considered mere condiments, sprinkled here, slathered there, and often added to taste (just ask Cannibal Cop). Not to say women aren’t also looking for an equally fun time, but our girly hard-wiring often craves a more in-depth connection with the guy we’re on a date with. Keep that in mind if you want to greatly improve your chances of getting her to notice your profile. And don’t forget to wear a condiment.
Barbara Purcell is a NYC-based yoga instructor with anger issues. In addition to breathing, she specializes in Pilates, awesome stretches, and insane arm balances. She has been featured on Tyra Banks, Playboy Radio, and Cosmo Radio, empowering others to put the “ho” in holistic. Check out her website here.
Remember when we told you How to Date Online without Being a Jerk? Then you didn’t listen, so we had to explain How to Date (like a Jerk) to get it through your thick skull? Well this is your last chance, bucko.