A Day in the Life of…Robin

View Comments
Not sure if that's a villainous deathtrap or a swinging '60s afterparty. (20th Century Fox)

Not sure if that’s a villainous deathtrap or a swinging ’60s afterparty. (20th Century Fox)

jacopo-della-quercia1 Jacopo della Quercia
Jacopo della Quercia is a man of many talents who somehow eluded d...
Read More
by Jacopo della Quercia
graphic by Brendan McGinley

 

It’s not easy being The Boy Wonder. Batman’s gone through so many Robins, you have to wonder why the orphanage keeps letting him take home children who are never heard from again. Most recently, his own son Damian Wayne died saving the city from…something? It was probably a very important threat. It says here he was killed by…his own adult clone. So wow. That’s symbolic. But young Master Wayne is far from the first Robin to eat it on a mission. Stephanie Brown, the first in-continuity female Robin, ate it almost immediately, and Jason Todd, the second Robin ever, got his brains bashed in by the Joker.

So who says Robin’s got a great life with his cool weapons, high-tech motorcycle, and billionaire benefactor? In fact, we discovered the average day is less like being Batman Jr. and more like Kenny from South Park.

A Day in the Life of Batman sidekick Robin at Man Cave Daily -- A Day in the Life of Robin... According to Man Cave Daily by Jacopo della Quercia 
1. Assuming you’re still alive, wake up in Wayne Manor. Next to Batman. 2. After a playful morning wrestle, hop back under the covers. It’s only exercise equipment, Alfred. Get some batteries. 3. Assemble your new ‘exercise equipment.’ Test it to make sure it works. Pictured: Coitus interruptus. 4. Suit up! But make sure you take a shower first. Round 2! Fight! 5. Race into Gotham City using your totally non-phallic car. 6. For whatever reason, spend some time away from Batman. This’ll do. 7. While separated, take an even worse beating. Ah! So Batman was just preparing you for this! 8. Die, according to popular demand. Pictured: democracy at its finest. 9. After dying, reflect about things for a bit... Apparently, Robin is immortal. 10. Come back from the dead. Celebrate with an orgy.


Happy birthday, Bill!


It ain't easy being 9' of man in 6'4" of President.

It ain’t easy being 9′ of man in 6’4″ of President.

Jacopo della Quercia is a man of many talents who somehow eluded death in 1438. He can regularly be found at Cracked and on Twitter @Jacopo_della_Q

The man is so full of greatness it's choking him.

The man is so full of greatness it’s choking him.

View Comments
blog comments powered by Disqus
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,494 other followers