When it comes to comedy on Twitter, no one has made a bigger impact than Rob Delaney. From frequent television appearances to his album Live at the Bowery Ballroom to his newly released board game Delaney is hard to miss. He took a few minutes to chat with me about his past as well as dishing some celebrity gossip on which major celebs are wearing diapers right now. Enjoy!
1. When you were a kid what was your dream job?
When I was a kid I wanted to be on the show “You Can’t Do That on Television!” I would literally get a stomach ache watching it from “yearning” so hard.
2. What’s the weirdest celebrity encounter you’ve ever had?
I catered a party in 2001 and both Sylvester Stallone and Vin Diesel were there. A lot of other people were there too but Stallone and Diesel went out on a patio and talked for hours and it was very obvious that Sly was giving Vin advice and Vin was lapping it up. Sly would put his arm around Vin from time to time and gesture at an imaginary horizon and Vin would frown and nod. Nobody wanted to join them on the patio, so everybody just sort of watched the symposium through sliding glass doors. I wish I knew what Vin knows now.
Whenever a teen insults me, I "put them on blast" by saying "Glad I'm not a teen, you're awfully mean!" Then they cry and cry forever.—
rob delaney (@robdelaney) June 18, 2013
3. You recently sang The National Anthem (quite wonderfully) before a Dodgers game. If you could sing a duet with anyone who would it be?
If I could sing a duet with anyone it would be Sinead O’Connor. She’s perhaps my favorite artist in any medium of all time. So strong and feminine and magical and raw. I would love to sing with her or just be in a room with her.
4. If you ever released a sex tape what would it be called? Just know that, unfortunately, Backdoor Teen Mom is already taken.
If I made a sex tape it would be called Donkey Zone: The Reckoning.
5. 2 Chainz said all he wants for his birthday is a big booty ho. What would be your ideal birthday gift and why?
I would like a piano or an elliptical machine. I like to jam and pump.
6. If you had to guess, which celebrities would you say still wears diapers?
The celebrities that still wear diapers are Texas governor Rick Perry and Channing Tatum.
7. With no judgment whatsoever, what are your five favorite movies of all time?
Favorite movies are Mulholland Drive, Brokeback Mountain, Toy Story 3, The Double Life of Veronique, Little Dieter Needs to Fly, Romy and Michelle’s HIgh School Reunion, Out of Sight, and Dancer in the Dark.
8. Is there a better song than “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go”? The answer is no by the way.
"Bartender, see that brunette at the end of the bar? I'd like you to bring her a slice of your finest ham."—
rob delaney (@robdelaney) June 17, 2013
9. What do you think Billy Joel is doing right now?
Billy Joel is staring at a picture of Billy Joel, just like you and I are.
10. What’s your favorite thing about me?
My favorite thing about you is that you’re funny and you’re a hustler. That’s 2 things, hope you don’t throw the interview in the garbage because I broke all the rules like a badass.
Want more Twitter? See who besides Rob you should follow for A Wittier Twitter, and then point and laugh at The Most Hilarious ‘Arrested Development’ Complaints.