This Badass Day in History: June 20

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The "theory" part remains debatable. ...okay, that's a lie.

The “theory” part remains debatable. …okay, that’s a lie.

jacopo-della-quercia1 Jacopo della Quercia
Jacopo della Quercia is a man of many talents who somehow eluded d...
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Out of many, one. A new order for the ages! Do you like Illuminati conspiracies theories? If so, gather round and share them for today is…

badassdaygreatseal This Badass Day in History: June 20

Holy Hun!

A Roman army repels the Hunnic forces of Attila the Hun at the Battle of the Catalaunian Fields. The battle involved more than 100,000 participants and resulted in heavy casualties for both sides. Despite being one of the most important battles in history, the Western Roman Empire collapsed anyway less than thirty years later.

It had been a pretty bad century for Rome.

It had been a pretty bad century for Rome.

PIRATES!

The Irish village of Baltimore is sacked by Barbary pirates in 1631.

You can almost picture them saying “Arrrrrr!!!” from this distance.

You can almost picture them saying “Arrrrrr!!!” from this distance.

The raid was the single largest ever attempted against the British Isles and resulted in Baltimore falling into disuse for decades, much like Baltimore, Maryland today.

M-A-S-O-N

Congress adopted the Great Seal of the United States on this day in 1782. Was it a Masonic conspiracy to just some routine paperwork? You decide.

All the Masonic conspiracies on the planet still can’t explain Sarah Palin.

All the Masonic conspiracies on the planet still can’t explain Sarah Palin.

V for Victoria

Queen Victoria ascended to the British throne in 1837, eventually becoming the longest-reigning British monarch in history. Paradoxically, she would later describe the women’s rights movement as a “mad, wicked folly” and presided over one of the most famously misogynistic periods in modern history: the Victorian era.

Score one for the ladies! Sorta!

Score one for the ladies! Sorta!

LOL

Samuel Morse received his patent for the telegraph in 1840, meaning he could finally send text messages.

"What R U wearing stop"

“What R U wearing stop”

License to Drive

Kazimierz Piechowski and three cohorts somehow manage to escape Auschwitz in 1942 using SS uniforms and a stolen car.

How the hell has there never been a movie made about this?

How the hell has there never been a movie made about this?

As if pulling off one of the most incredible getaways in history wasn’t impressive enough, Kazimierz is still alive to talk about it.

The Big Gulp

The United States wins the Battle of the Philippine Sea in one of the most lopsided naval victories in history. The Japanese lose three fleet carriers and more than 500 aircraft in the fight, which has since been described as “the Great Marianas Turkey Shoot.”

Apparently, the Japanese spent the whole battle doing donuts with their cruisers.

Apparently, the Japanese spent the whole battle doing donuts with their cruisers.

Iron Sky

The State Department approves the transfer of Wernher von Braun and his fellow rocket scientists to the US in 1945 as part of Operation Paperclip. Despite being a member of the Nazi Party, the SS, and the chief architect behind the V-2 rocket program, von Braun would eventually design the Saturn V for the US that put men on the moon.

So...uh, this was a good thing?

So…uh, was this a good thing?

Say what?

Someone notices the infamous 18 ½ minute gap in the Watergate tapes that Nixon secretary Rose Mary Woods claims she “accidentally” erased while reaching for a telephone.

How can she stand the smell of so much BS in such a tiny office?

How can she stand the smell of so much BS in such a tiny office?

Huns, pirates, Mason, feminists, Nazis, and now Nixon? It’s a conspiracy! June 20, you are truly one of the most terrifyingly badass days in history we’ve ever heard of.


It was like this, but even worse.

It was like this, but even worse.

Jacopo della Quercia is a man of many talents who somehow eluded death in 1438. He can regularly be found at Cracked and on Twitter @Jacopo_della_Q

Not sure if that's a villainous deathtrap or a swinging '60s afterparty. (20th Century Fox)

Not sure if that’s a villainous deathtrap or a swinging ’60s afterparty.

JdQ previously planned the sweeping undertakings of  This Badass Day in History: June 6 and then showed you a decidedly non-badass Day in the Life of…Robin.

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