We’re not going to tell you why Jillette Johnson is a great musician because we did that yesterday. Instead we’re going to feed this crush we’ve been nursing for the last 24 hours and flirt with her. She’s very, very good at it, incidentally. If flirtation were music, Jillette Johnson would be Jillette Johnson. Now kick back, light some candles, and set the mood with a free listen to her new album, Water in a Whale.
Do you often make the first move?
I make the first eyes and let them break the ice.
Make us laugh. Tell us a funny joke or anecdote.
Too much pressure. I’ll make you laugh if you just watch me. I have that clumsy charm that makes you wonder when, not if I’m gonna spill my water on you or fall down the stairs.
What’s your dating style?
I’m open minded. I’m down to try things and have adventures. But don’t disrespect me. I’ll split in a second.
Why do you make a good girlfriend?
Because I’m very thoughtful and I can hang. It makes me happy to make you happy. So I’ll make you dinner, rub your shoulders, charm your mom and make fun of you with your friends (and you’ll like it.)
What do you expect of a boyfriend?
An open mind, vulnerability and independent passion that makes you not be needy. And attention to detail.
It’s our birthday and we don’t want you to make a big deal out of it. How do you surprise us?
You come home and see me wearing something lacy and untoward, making you the best meal of your life. I throw you on the couch and make you watch the game while I pour you champagne. And then I give you something thoughtful. And then I give you something you won’t tell your mother about. We spend the rest of the night with no contact with the outside world, and I sing you happy birthday while you fall asleep with your arms around me.
Do you hog the covers?
Only if I’m cold. But I’ll wake up and notice and always give them back.
What’s a perfect Saturday night?
We go grocery shopping together and decide to make dinner. But we have some wine and forget about the food. We dizzily tackle each other and roll around in bed. Then we eat ice cream and candy and watch a movie. And then maybe we go for a midnight walk.
What’s the sweetest or sexiest thing you’ve ever done for a guy?
I took my ex for a romantic New Year’s weekend to Boston, except the whole trip was planned around the Dolphins vs. Patriots game. He was a huge Dolphins fan and had never been to a game. It was freezing cold and I was kiiiiinda miserable, plus the Dolphins got destroyed. But it was worth the whole trip because of the look on his face. He turned into an 11-year-old. It was amazing.
Who got a better deal in sex? Men or women?
Women. Absolutely. We get multiple orgasms and they get more intense as they multiply.