If you’re familiar with Tucker Max and his best-selling books then you probably know what to expect from sitting down and chatting with him. If you’re not, here’s how Max describes himself on his website:
“I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable.”
Can’t argue with that! Tucker was nice enough to chat with me recently on the important topics like sports, women, and the keyboard cat. Here are his answers in the way that only he can do them. Enjoy!
1. So what are you up to right now?
I assume you mean business-wise, correct? Because if not, the obnoxious answer is that right now, I’m answering interview questions you sent me, dumbass. Other than that, I’m a partner in a new style of publishing company, and I am working on a few new creative projects. Everything is in the beginning stages, so nothing too exciting, sad to say. I know I should promote all my projects better, but whatever, no one’s going to read this but you and me.
2. What are the most bizarre celebrity encounters you’ve ever had?
Oh man–not counting all the actresses/D-list reality stars I’ve hooked up with? Because they are ALL nut jobs, but those encounters aren’t all that bizarre, they’re just basic crazy girl stories where the girls happen to be famous.
I think the most bizarre encounter I’ve ever had was when Iron Chef Morimoto came with me to the NYC Tow Pound to get my car after it got towed. The weirdest part was when the employees came out from behind the glass to get pictures with him. I guess the Food Network is real popular in the DMV.
3. I spent my morning reading about how the Keyboard Cat from YouTube died. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve spent time researching online?
I mean–it’s a f***ing cat, they’re fungible, just buy a new one. Nno one will know the difference. Talking about bizarre encounters, I met the guy who started Keyboard Cat. He’s precisely who you’d expect him to be.
Weirdest thing I’ve ever researched? You’d have to ask my assistant, he does my research for me (yeah I know, make fun of me all you want, I deserve it), but my guess is that it would have to do with how to be able to write abortions off your taxes.
4. Without the fear of judgment, what are your five favorite movies of all time?
You think I care about judgment? I burned that bridge a long time ago. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about movies, so this is off the top of my head:
- 8 Mile
- Hustle & Flow
- Usual Suspects
5. Who would you want to play you if Lifetime did a movie about your life? For me it’s Ryan Gosling because I feel like he really captures my essence.
There’s already been a movie made about my life made. Matt Czuchry (The Good Wife, Gilmore Girls) played me. I guess you didn’t spend much time researching me when you were looking up Keyboard Cat.
6. What is your go-to karaoke song?
How about no song, does that work? I’m not Korean, why would I do karaoke?
7. If you weren’t writing books, what career could you see yourself doing?
Though I’ve done really well with books, at this point, I’ve actually made more money by investing; both angel investing in start-ups and trading. So probably that.
8. What are the last three picture messages you’ve received on your phone?
All pretty much my dog; she’s staying with her mom right now, and I get pics all the time. I’m boring now, I know.
9. Who are your sports teams that you cheer for no matter what?
There is no team I cheer for “no matter what.” If we’ve learned anything from the Penn State scandal, it should be that. And also, we learned that no one at Penn State cares about protecting the buttonholes of innocent children from winning football coaches.
10. What is your favorite thing about me?
Can I go with nothing? I guess that’s not technically correct, since I do follow you on Twitter. I guess my favorite thing about you would have to be that you don’t complain much when I steal your best tweets and pass them off as my own.