Ten Weird Questions with Kumail Nanjiani

by Rob Fee

It’s hard to turn on the television and not see Kumail. He’s a busy guy and on top of that he recorded a stand-up album called Beta Male that is available on iTunes and debuts July 20th on Comedy Central. He was kind enough to answer a few questions for us and talk about his quality time with NBA star Chauncey Billups.

1. So what are you working on right now?

Right now I’m doing small parts in Hot Tub Time Machine 2 and this indie comedy called Flock of Dudes.

2. You were hilarious in Burning Love but if you were to go on an actual Bachelor-style show, what would be your strategy?

I would be there to make friends. Which I guess would make me a terrible contestant.

3. What’s the worst birthday present you’ve ever received?

Nothing. My parents stopped giving me presents when I was like 12. So getting nothing felt like, you know, getting nothing.

4. Off the top of your head, what are your five favorite movies of all time?

  • Shaun of the Dead
  • The Thing
  • Silence of the Lambs
  • Casablanca
  • Four Weddings and a Funeral

5. What’s the weirdest celebrity encounter you’ve ever had?

I met Chauncey Billups at the airport and he called me “baby.” It’s the coolest I’ve ever felt in my life. I yell it out when I flop an audition. “Chauncey Billups once called me baby!”

6. You are known as somewhat of a gamer. What are some of your favorite classic games and a few newer ones you’d recommend?

Bioshock Infinite and The Last of Us are great. The new Tomb Raider is awesome too. Old school I loved Shinobi, Sonic and the Zelda games.

7. Let’s get serious for a moment, is Tupac still alive?

Yes he is. In here. (Points to own heart.) except I’m not really a huge Tupac fan. (Asks random person on street.) you like Tupac? Yes? Yes he is. In there. (Points at heart of random person on the street who claims to be a Tupac fan.)

8. If someone has gold teeth, or a grill, if you will, can they brush their teeth or do they just leave it and hope for the best?

You brush it. Are you kidding me? If I had a gold tooth I would be brushing it every chance I got. And tell people too. “I’m brushing my gold tooth right now” I would say.

9. If Harry Potter was such a powerful wizard why did he do nothing else after Voldemort died? Did he peak too soon?

Of course he did. He gets a pass though. He could get whatever job he wanted. In interviews: “under special skills it says surfing, vanquishing the soul of the dark lord to save humanity. Can you do Excel?”

10. What is your favorite thing about me? 

Your boyish charm mixed with your rugged good looks.

Or maybe it's the other way around?

Or maybe it’s the other way around?

Rob Fee is a writer and comedian best known for writing and telling jokes. You can follow him on Twitter @RobFee to read more of these jokes or go to Del Taco. He’s probably there.

We apologize for that pun. Sincerely.

We apologize for that pun. Sincerely.

Rob previously asked ten weird questions of such Twitter luminaries as Tucker Max and Rob Delaney.

More from Rob Fee

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