10 Weird Questions with Rutledge Wood of ‘Top Gear’

by Rob Fee

If you are any type of car enthusiast whatsoever, then you’re probably familiar with Top Gear on the History Channel and its awesome host Rutledge Wood. He sat down with us recently to discuss what his dream car would be, what movies impacted him the most, and the odds of Air Bud becoming a true story.

1. Seeing as how you would probably qualify as a expert on the topic, what would you say is your dream car?

I have lots of dreams cars honestly…I love cars. I love cars like most women love shoes. But, I like shoes too. Anyway, my dream car would be a 1957 Chevy Bel Air Coupe. I think they are one of the all time classic automobiles and I think it’s the kind of car that anyone could see and think “now THAT is a cool car!” Now, I would make a few changes to it because I would want to drive it every day. Put it on an Art Morrison chassis, all new Chevy drivetrain, big Vintage Air AC kit and a killer stance with custom wheels…oh, and a nice growl from the exhaust. That would be perfect.

2. I heard a rumor that if you work at the SPEED Network you are required to watch the movie Speed daily. Can you confirm this and also describe your favorite moments from the film? 

Yes. It’s a well kept secret. I’m not sure who told you, but it’s a lot like Fight Club except that our first rule is that you have to watch the movie Speed daily. My favorite part is when Sandy (Can I call America’s sweetheart that?) Bullock (and for the record, I like Jesse James as a car guy, but he never deserved her. Period. And while we’re on it, Brad leaving Jennifer for some chick that made out with her brother and did it with Billy Bob- That’s unbelievable.) is shouting to Keanu “Stay on or get off? STAY ON OR GET OFF ?????” I’ve used that more than once as a dating analogy to my friends who for some reason get themselves in relationships with people that they completely should never date. Great movie. I mean, I can only hope that my acting chops develop the way Keanu Reeve’s have. That guy’s got some kind of range. Oh well, I can dream.

3. Did you know it’s illegal to own a ferret in the state of California? Do you think Obama will ever address this?

It should be illegal to own a ferret in California! Hell, anywhere! I mean, what are they really besides an incredibly stinky squirrel the got stretched on one of those midievel racks. For the record, my sister owned a ferret when she was in college. When she same home for Christmas she brought that rat with her, and my parent’s made her put down a plastic tarp in her room so that little bastard didn’t ruin the floor. It was like turning her room into a giant hamster cage. Poop city.

4. What’s the strangest celebrity encounter you’ve ever had?

My strangest celebrity citing was probably during my first job out of college when I worked for Country Music Television. My friend had helped me get the gig of doing mobile marketing for the network all over the country so I spent a good deal of time in Nashville. (Amazing city by the way) We were having dinner at PF Chang’s one night and who should walk in but Dennis Haskins!  That’s right, Mr. Belding himself from Saved By The Bell! I think that’s one of the few times in my life I’ve ever been star struck by anyone and the only thing I could do was muster up enough courage to say the word “hello” to him. But, in my heart, I think he probably watches a lot of the History Channel, so there’s always that chance that he’ll see Top Gear US on there and think “That’s the sweaty nervous guy I met at PF Chang’s in 2003!” Or not. Whatever. I think it’s totally possible so shut up.

5. Can you describe your signature dance moves in as much detail as possible?

I don’t have a lot of dance moves, but I’m very fluid and I stay on beat since I’m a drummer. If I’m looking for a crowd pleaser, I reach into my bag of tricks and pull out a good old-fashioned down south “booty shake.”

NOTE: I have no ass at all. My legs literally just end at my back. You could use my ass like a straight edge. So you lean over a bit, I’d say 45 degrees, then I stick my butt out and begin to violently and rapidly shake my midsection left to right. I’ve never seen a video of what’s going on back there, but any time an overweight African-American girl has seen my shake, she sheds a little tear and usually shouts “Go Shawty” so I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.

6. What are your top five favorite movies of all time?

Amassing my favorite movies in a simple “top 5” is tough. Remember all those lists John Cusac made in “Hi Fidelity” ? That’s what it feels like except that he was good at it and I’m not. I’ll start with a biggie: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. This movie I think it a big part of the reason that I am who I am today. We didn’t have cable growing up, so I had to watch whatever the rabbit ears would pick up. I think I’ve watched this movie hundreds of times, and I could sit down and watch it right now. So well done and Ferris’ love for everyone and the love he got back is amazing. Probably why I ran for class president. I think I won because I campaigned with “Save Ferris” as my tag line, and it worked. In no particular order after that, I’d say The Big Lebowski, Groundhog Day, Dumb and Dumber, and Wet Hot American Summer. I’m a huge fan of everyone that was on The State, and W.H.A.S. had a ton of them and other stars in it. If you haven’t seen it, please, get off your keister and go watch it. There’s a big secret pizza party in it for you if you do.

7. Is there ever an appropriate time to have a bluetooth headphone in your ear?

I actually made up a game called “Bluetooth or Crazy” when I see people talking to themselves and try to make the quick decision as to which one it is. It’s fun. You should try it. I think if people just wore them in the car I would be fine with it, but it seems like the only people I ever see wearing a bluetooth are A) wearing it in a very public place and B) aren’t the type of people that anyone’s going to be calling any time soon. I just want to tell those folks to give their ear a break. No one’s calling you guy.

8. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? You can name names if you’d like!

I’ve had a couple bad dates in my day, like the time I got stood up by a girl who said she lost my number and then two days later called to ask if she could borrow our plunger (I lied and said someone borrowed it and never returned it. HUGE LIE, I could see it from where I was sitting when she called). I think for me, the single worst date I had was when I had a date on the 4th of July in high school. It was probably not an actual date, but I sure wanted it to be so I cleaned up my parent’s golf cart (Oh, we lived in a town with golf carts, otherwise that’s really odd) so I washed it and put Armor All on every surface I could including the seats.

The girl on said date was a beautiful girl named Meggie Nichols who I was madly in love with, but I was so lost in the friend zone, I didn’t even think it was weird she brought a friend on our “date” who sat up front with me, leaving Meggie posted up on the back seat. After a friend threw a fire cracker on the cart path in front of us, I had to slam on the brakes, then of course, I floored it to take off after them and it was at that point I didn’t throw Meggie off the back of the cart, but in a motion much like when a magician pulls the table cloth off of a table with tons of stuff on it, the Armor All assisted me in removing the cart from underneath her. I’d say the evening and our friendship went downhill from there. Oh puppy love, what an awkward time in my life. I haven’t changed at all since high school, so I should probably ask my wife if I’m still weird with girls. I’d bet I am.

9. Be honest, do you think Air Bud could ever actually happen?

I’ll be honest here…I don’t think so. I mean, I bought it when Fievel went West, but Air Bud?  It just seems like a stretch. Hoops? Sure, a dog could be great at that, but baseball and volleyball too? Blow it out your ass, Bud. Maybe if you were a kick ass dog like a Boxer, you would be able to cross over into other sports. Now Harry and the Hendersons, that was cinema magic.

10. What is your favorite thing about me?

My favorite thing about you Rob is you’re funny without limits. It’s hard to be funny, turns out. It’s a gift some of us have, so it might come more naturally in some respects, but to be truly funny takes hard work. To me, you’re like my favorite blog babe Jenny Johnson but with a fauxhawk, although she might have one by now (It’s hot in TX in the summer) so I might change my opinion on that. PLUS, you work with Ellen who is someone that I love and respect with all my heart. She wakes up every day and makes so many people smile, which makes their day better and that is the best job in the world. I try to emulate that every day in what I do. I think you do that too, but you sneak in some good jokes about the elderly and your 9/11 rhyming game is tight!

Or maybe it's the other way around?

Or maybe it’s the other way around?

Rob Fee is a writer and comedian best known for writing and telling jokes. You can follow him on Twitter @RobFee to read more of these jokes or go to Del Taco. He’s probably there.

We apologize for that pun. Sincerely.

We apologize for that pun. Sincerely.

Rob previously asked ten weird questions of such Twitter luminaries as Tucker Max and Rob Delaney.

More from Rob Fee

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