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This Badass Day in History: July 30

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Where's Jimmy?

Where’s Jimmy?

jacopo-della-quercia1 Jacopo della Quercia
Jacopo della Quercia is a man of many talents who somehow eluded d...
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by Jacopo della Quercia

Today is one of those days you wish the Gods could refund us for. A day that began bathed in blood and ended like last night’s nightmares. Today is a day that few people celebrate and even fewer can forget, for today is…

badassday jul30 This Badass Day in History: July 30

By Crom!

Arnold Schwarzenegger, one of the most famous action figures of all time, was born on this day in 1947.

Here he is pictured with Sylvester Stallone.

Here he is pictured with Sylvester Stallone.

For those of you good at math, this means Arnold Schwarzenegger has been a senior citizen for a good solid year now. Also born on this day? You guessed it: Frank Stallone.

Here he is alone, reduced to eating a guitar.

Here he is alone, reduced to eating a guitar.

Arabian Niiii-i-i-ights…

Baghdad is founded by Abu Jafar al-Mansur on July 30, 762 A.D. Since this was a long time before Saddam Hussein, Dick Cheney, or Halliburton existed, the city was originally known as “the City of Peace” and one of the most famous learning centers on the planet.

Tragically, they built the city in the shape of a bullseye.

Tragically, they built the city in the shape of a bullseye.

 The Defenestration Proclamation

A mob of Czech Hussites killed seven city councilmen during an event known as the First Defenestration of Prague in 1419. That’s right, Prague has more than one day on their calendar famous for people getting thrown out of windows.

"Oh, come on guys, quit fooling around, very funny, I get it, now come on, stooooAAAAAHHHHH"

“Oh, come on guys, quit fooling around, very funny, I get it, now come on, stooooAAAAAHHHHH”

The event was so shocking that King Wenceslaus IV of Bohemia died of shock shortly after hearing about it, which could make the First Defenestration of Prague one of the most remarkable assassination attempts we’ve ever heard of.

Expect to see this in an upcoming episode of Game of Thrones.

Expect to see this in an upcoming episode of Game of Thrones.

It’s a conspiracy!

The Grand Lodge of Massachusetts, the oldest Masonic grand lodge in America, was established on this day in 1733. Expect Dan Brown to write a book about this if he hasn’t already.

Also, expect it to suck just as much as this one.

Also, expect it to suck just as much as this one.

This army blows…

Union General Ambrose E. Burnside, perhaps the single stupidest commander during the American Civil War, detonated a mine during the Siege of Petersburg that left a hole in the ground more than 30 feet deep.

Pictured: Mel Gibson’s career.

Pictured: Mel Gibson’s career.

Thousands of Union soldiers charged into this hole with absolutely no hope of escape, resulting in nearly 4,000 Union casualties compared to less than half that for the Confederates. Burnside was swiftly relieved of command and sent as far away from the U.S. Army as possible.

His facial hair, meanwhile, remains his only lasting accomplishment.

His facial hair, meanwhile, remains his only lasting accomplishment.

The Black Tom explosion

During World War I, German saboteurs exploded a vast cache of ammunition in Jersey City, New Jersey in an event known as the Black Tom explosion. The blast killed seven people, shattered thousands of windows in Manhattan, caused more than $100,000 in damage to the Statue of Liberty, and registered as a 5.5 on the Richter scale.

What the hell is it with things getting blown up on this day?

What the hell is it with things getting blown up on this day?

Why is so little about this enormous act of terrorism mentioned today? Simply put, because World War I is boring as hell compared to its Call of Duty counterparts.

Quint’s tale

The USS Indianapolis is sunk by a Japanese submarine after dropping off key parts to the atomic bomb that was dropped on Hiroshima. Nearly 900 men die over the next several days in what has been dubbed the single largest shark attack in history.

And yes, Quint from Jaws was totally there.

And yes, Quint from Jaws was totally there.

The end…?

Today was the last anybody saw of union leader Jimmy Hoffa in 1975.

Jesus Christ, July 30… And to think we were about to complain that today was just another Tuesday. Thanks to you, we’ll consider ourselves lucky if we live through the day without blowing up like a Spinal Tap drummer.

July 30, you have clearly lived up to your reputation as this badass day in history.


BadassHistory2012Dec11

You can’t decapitate YOURSELF, that’s cheating!

Jacopo della Quercia is a man of many talents who somehow eluded death in 1438. He can regularly be found at Cracked and on Twitter @Jacopo_della_Q

Not sure if that's a villainous deathtrap or a swinging '60s afterparty. (20th Century Fox)

Not sure if that’s a villainous deathtrap or a swinging ’60s afterparty.

JdQ previously uncovered the deadly secrets of This Badass Day in History: December 11 and then showed you a decidedly non-badass Day in the Life of…Robin.

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