10 Weird Questions with Barret Swatek from MTV’s ‘Awkward’

On what to do if Bill Murray is trying to break into your airplane bathroom

1. So what are you up to right now?

Aw, nothing. Just drinking a cup of coffee in Brooklyn, answering your incredibly invasive questions while watching Hoda & Kathie Lee. Oh. In general? I just finished shooting Season 3 of Awkward which will premiere in the fall. I wrapped at midnight and was on a flight to NYC the next morning for the summer.

2. Who were some of your heroes as a kid?

I was a hard core figure-skater as a kid so I worshipped all the Olympians. My heroes were Katarina Witt, Kristi Yamaguchi, Nancy Kerrigan and dynamo dancing sensation Torvill & Dean (their chemistry together on the ice was palpable. Much like Hoda & Kathie Lee’s right now).

Photo by Paul A. Hebert/Getty Images

Photo by Paul A. Hebert/Getty Images

3. Can you describe the worst date you’ve ever been on?

It was a blind date with a guy who referred to me in the third person the entire dinner. He would cock his head and say things like “What’s Barret’s favorite drink?” or “What’s Barret thinking right now?” and “I think Barret has a happy exterior but deep down is very, very sad.”

4. What are your top five favorite movies of all time?

  • Roman Holiday
  • Planes, Trains and Automobiles
  • Tootsie
  • The King’s Speech 
  • Sense and Sensibility

5. What’s the worst hangover you’ve ever had?

Rob, I feel like every hangover is the worst hangover but if you’re forcing me to choose, I’ll go with University of Arizona/ATO Caveman Party/Tequila. Took me over a decade to even taste tequila again. And, I’ll NEVER go out with another caveman. Ever.

Photo by Michel Boutefeu/Getty Images

Photo by Michel Boutefeu/Getty Images

6. What’s the strangest celebrity encounter you’ve ever had?

I was on a plane from Boston to LA with Bill Murray. When I got up to use the lavatory, he was standing there chatting with the flight attendants. One of them complimented my dress and asked where I had gotten it. I told her I’d bought it when I was traveling in Australia, blah blah. All of a sudden Bill Murray goes “I’ll offer you $200 for the dress.” I laughed and told him he’d have to do better than that and went into the bathroom. While I’m in there, he starts shaking the door going “$250! $300! $400!” and on and on until I finished. When I came back out I asked if wanted my US Weekly as a consolation prize and he took it. He was lovely to every person on that flight.

Photo by Charley Gallay/Getty Images

Photo by Charley Gallay/Getty Images

7. Are there any TV shows you’re keeping up with right now?

I just finished watching The Americans and loved it. Breaking Bad which I can’t watch before bedtime anymore because it stresses me out so much. Game of Thrones – I needed to see a therapist after The Red Wedding Episode. Homeland which I also cannot watch before bedtime. VEEP. And The Bachelor/Bachelorette – yes, that’s right, I said it. Chris for the win! He’s hot, has a job and seems emotionally stable.

8. What’s the most frequently songs played on your iPhone?

  • “Dixieland Delight” by Alabama
  • Willie Nelson’s cover of “Just Breathe”
  • “Can You Hear Me Knocking” by The Rolling Stones
  • “Amoreena” by Elton John
  • “Sweet Home Country Grammar” by Lynard Skynard & Nelly

9. Who are some of your favorite accounts on Twitter?

What? Oh. Okay…fine. @robfee

10.Who would play you in the Lifetime movie about your life?

That’s a tough one. Me maybe? But they’d probably put an offer out to Anna Faris first. And while they are waiting for her to pass on it, they’d have me come in and read for it. I’d read the first scene and then the director would be like “Barret, really try to get into Barret’s head here. What does Barret want? What is Barret’s motivation? What is Barret thinking?”…Full circle back to the worst date.

Again: Sunday morning.

Sunday morning writ large.

Or maybe it's the other way around?

Or maybe it’s the other way around?

Rob Fee is a writer and comedian best known for writing and telling jokes. You can follow him on Twitter @RobFee to read more of these jokes or go to Del Taco. He’s probably there.

We apologize for that pun. Sincerely.

We apologize for that pun. Sincerely.

Rob previously asked ten weird questions of such Twitter luminaries as Tucker Max and Rob Delaney.

More from Rob Fee

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