Barbarian hordes? Volcanic eruptions?! Women voting!?! Holy s**t! Sounds like August 26th was never some run-of-the-mill day on the calendar, like Flag Day, but secretly lived its whole life as…
When in Rome…
The sacking of Rome in 410 enters its second day. According to Ra’s al Ghul in Batman Begins, the League of Shadows was behind it.
Get Him to the Greek
The Byzantine Empire is defeated and their emperor captured during the battle of Manzikert in 1071. The battle was one of the most consequential of the Middle Ages and has gone down in history as one of the harder levels in Age of Empires II: The Conquerors. Fortunately, that’s why Microsoft included keys to the COBRA car in this game.
“Our arrows will blot out the sun!”
The English longbow is used to devastating effect against French knights and crossbowmen during the battle of Crécy in 1346. The battle was a lopsided victory for the English and a painful reminder to France about their failure to grasp some of the new innovations of warfare.
A Swiss army is crushed, albeit at enormous cost, by a much larger French force during the battle of St. Jakob an der Birs in 1444. The battle forced the French to retreat, working to Switzerland’s overall advantage and serving as yet another black eye in French history.
Michelangelo Buonarroti is commissioned to sculpt the Pietà, one of the most famous works of art in history, in 1498. He was only 23 at the time, thus outclassing every art student there would ever be. Ever.
The Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen, one of the most important documents of the French Revolution, is approved in 1789. Somewhat surprisingly, women were left out of the document.
The University of Buenos Aires opens in 1821. Why is this such an epic moment in history? Check out their logo:
Mother Earth has an orgasm
The 1883 eruption of Krakatoa reaches its climax when the volcano enters its paroxysmal phase at 13:00 local time.
This event triggered a series of the loudest and most powerful explosions in recorded history, some of which are heard nearly 2,000 miles away. In total, the eruption is believed to have released as much energy 200 megatons of TNT. It was the Grown Ups 2 of the summer of 1883.
These boots are meant for voting
In 1920, the 19th Amendment to the US Constitution took effect. At long last, women could vote.
August 26, we don’t know how you do it. Half the US population should be retweeting your birthday. Between Rome getting teabagged and Krakatoa going the way of the dinosaurs, there is no doubt you have earned your place as this badass day in history.