Bacon ‘n’ Whiskey: Epic Meal Time’s Harley Morenstein

Harley Morenstein is the voice of YouTube’s favorite gluttons, Epic Meal Time, and one of the secrets to its success. His descriptions of the gang’s culinary projects resound like Old Testament proclamations swirled with a loagy third whiskey, which is a pretty good description of Epic Meal Time itself. He very kindly answered our most heartburning questions about the nature of overindulgence and eating well. 

Man Cave Daily: When last we spoke, you were apologizing for causing the Global Bacon Shortage. What’s your favorite bacon-less concoction?

Harley Morenstein: Steak! I love steak.

MCD: How do you plan to celebrate International Bacon Day on the Saturday before Labor Day?

HM: I made a Philly cheesecake with my buddies. It was a huge cheesecake made with Philly cheesesteaks.

MCD: Have you ever rejected a meal concept for going too far?

HM: We don’t eat dogs or dolphins. We also don’t kill any animals on Epic Meal Time. We just bury them in our stomachs.

MCD: What’s a common dish or ingredient you hate?

HM: Dried apricots and dried papayas. I also hate olives, those disgusting things. I gave them so many chances and they’re always so garbage.

MCD: Have any dishes you’ve made surprised you with their flavor?

HM: Yeah. Turtles were the grossest thing ever. I expected them to be gross but was surprised when they were the grossest thing ever.

MCD: What are your biggest discoveries as far as what foods go together?

HM: We haven’t made any groundbreaking discoveries in regards to what foods go together, since we rely on classic combinations mostly. But as for a food and drink it’s probably bacon and whiskey. Which is basically a regular occurrence during the work day.

MCD: Is it even possible to make an epic meal out of all healthy food?

HM: Yes. It’s possible. We don’t want to do it, but it’s probably possible. Actually, I doubt it.

MCD: Which member of EMT can put away the most food? Who has the best alcohol tolerance?

HM: We’ve all become disgusting creatures with an all-powerful vortex where a regular man’s gut would be. Any of us can easily consume quadruple the fast food of whoever. This is three years of practice.

As for alcohol tolerance, I’d say we don’t even feel drunk anymore but that would sound sad. So I won’t say it.

MCD: What’s your go-to comfort food?

HM: Mac and cheeseburger pizza cereal.

MCD: What dishes or places should no visitor leave Montreal without trying?

HM: Montreal has the best food by the way. It’s one thing we really miss while being away from Canada. I’m going to assume everyone already knows about Poutine and to try it while in Montreal. Get a pudding pouding chômeur somewhere.

MCD: Assuming it’s not midway through one of your concoctions, what do you pick for your last meal?

HM: It all depends on the mood. I can swing from a double cheeseburger to a stack of pancakes or a chocolate bar, maybe a steak or ice cream. I would get whatever I felt like at that moment.

MCD: What’s the most ambitious dish you’ve ever created, or want to create?

HM: We’ve been messing around with Fast Food Aquarium for a while now. We’ll probably make it happen.

MCD: You were a substitute teacher — was there ever any crossover between your teaching days and your YouTube celebrity, and did it earn you instant respect from the kids when you walked into the class?

HM: I always kept my Facebook and social medias private so no students would come across them. But once EMT came out and people started seeing the videos, I just didn’t go back to teaching.

MCD: EMT was spoofed by Vegan Meal Time  — How do you respond?

HM: I enjoyed their videos. They were very entertaining. I wish they did more. My favorite EMT homage though has to be Swedish Meal Time. They were awesome too.

MCD: And finally — how you doing?

HM: My beard is the healthiest part about me, but I feel good.

Photo courtesy of Wind-up Records

No getting around it–that is one handsome man.

Brendan McGinley is editor round these parts when not writing comics or Cracked columns. You can say a neighborly hello to him on Twitter @BrendanMcGinley.

Just because she doesn't judge us doesn't mean we weren't found wanting.

Just because she doesn’t judge us doesn’t mean we weren’t found wanting.

Brendan posed 10 Weird Questions to Young Guns’ Gustav Wood and interviewed one of the searchers for the next EMT, Internet Icon Judge Christine Lakin.

More from Brendan McGinley

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