10 Weird Questions with George Wallace

by Rob Fee

I’m not sure I could ever do a proper introduction for the legendary George Wallace. He’s one of the greatest comedians ever and you’d have a hard time finding a nicer guy. He was kind enough to answer a few questions for us in the way that only George Wallace can.

1. So what are you up to right now?

Right now I headline the World Famous Flamingo Showroom: “The New Mr. Vegas” The Best 10 p.m. show on the strip. The best stand-up show, period. Yeah, I said it. Come see for yourself, Tuesday-Saturday. Came here for 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, and now it’s 10 years. Going back out on the road, making more TV appearances, more movie roles, writing a book and preparing for a new DVD. Life is good. I’m the most successful comedian ever. It’s not how much money you make, it’s how you’re living your life with the hand you were dealt. I could retire tomorrow…but, from what? I don’t do a damn thing but make people happy. And when I see happy people, it makes me happier.

Stand-up is my sex and my drugs. I’m hooked. I’m on this s**t 24 hours a day. Maybe I’m blessed and lucky. I don’t work for the hotel. I own my show. I 4 WALL. I do all the marketing and advertising. I have a staff of 22 and I sign the front of the checks. And I sign the back of all the checks coming in. I don’t trust anybody with my money. Nobody….

2. Out of all the shows you’ve done, do any stand out as the most memorable?

Yes, The one show I’ll never ever forget. Every now and then I will bring in a super opener such as WAR, Jennifer Holiday, and even Chris Tucker. This one was with…Sly and The Family Stone. OMG! All the originals. For the first time in 25 years, I had him on my stage,working for me. The odds were 45 to 1 that he wouldn’t show. Be he did and all hell broke loose. People crying, standing on tables. The music and show was unbelievable.

My show is Vegas like it used to be. You never know who’s gonna stop in. From my best friend of 37 years Mr. Jerry Seinfeld to Chris Rock, Anthony Anderson, Tom Jones, Aretha Franklin…Dick Clark stopped in 3 weeks before he left us, said he wanted to laugh. Joel Osteen to Prince. I love to go to work. You never know what’s gonna happen or who’s gonna stop by. I just guarantee one thing, and that is,  you’re gonna feel much better when you leave my show than when you leave the doctors office.

3. You were in Batman Forever. If they reboot the franchise, do you think you would make a good Batman?

They say I’m a pretty good actor, but Batman? The Batman?  Hell yeah. LMAO. I’m way too old and wayyy too big to play Batman. Maybe Fatman, how about that?

4. Without fear of judgement, what are your top five favorite movies of all time?

If there’s one area that I’m a little embarrassed to talk about it’s how few movies I’ve seen. Last movie I saw was Django Unchained. Loved it. I love Samuel L. Jackson. We attend the same church. Can’t sit near him. He cusses so good, we let him do it in the church. “You’re preaching too Goddamn long”… Let the church say Amen!

The Color Purple, Driving Miss Daisy, The original Carrie and The Queen are the ones that are in my head right now. Oh and Erin Brockovich. Julia was great. Wait, wait. My favorite actress Kathy Bates…Mr. Man. Misery. Oh hell yeah.

5. What advice would you give young comedians trying to get a start in the industry? 

Most of all, be honest to yourself. Be you and don’t worry about what people say. If you really have a passion for stand-up, and you can tolerate the BS that comes along with it, you can make it. You don’t have to be the number comic in the world, but in your head you should be.

6. What’s the strangest celebrity encounter you’ve ever had?

Not strange but last year after a meet and greet, I was ushered to a little man in a wheel chair, he was somewhat frail. But as I approached the kind gentleman I could see it was Dick Clark. I said OMG…He said he knew he was ill but he just wanted to laff (that’s how I spell it). He said he’d been to my show 3 times. It was a real moment for me, because I grew up watching BandStand. Not strange but true.

7. Are there any TV shows you’re keeping up with right now?

No, I try to watch funny talk show hosts. I learn from them. Late at night I like CSI and reruns of Law & Order. I also enjoy CNN and MSNBC and Joel Osteen. Secret between us, I do watch my friend The Rock and Vince McMahon on WWE.

8. What was it like living with Jerry Seinfeld?

He’s an idiot. My best friend for 37 years. He’s the meticulous clean type. I’m the not dirty buy kind of junky paper everywhere man. We are so different in so many ways. I wish everyone could have a Jerry Seinfeld in their life. And I know he’d say the same about George Wallace. I’m so blessed to be a friend of the #1 TV comedy show owner of all time.

9. Who are some of your favorite accounts on Twitter? 

And they winners are: @SarahThyre; @ArsenioHall; @jaymohr37; @AndyLassner; @VaguelyFunnyDan; @TJMShow; @MichaelIanBlack; @KellyOxford; @RobinMcCauley, and @IAmSteveHarvey.

10. Most importantly, what’s your favorite thing about me?

Oh ”DON’TCHU KNOW”….It’s the hair my friend. It’s the hair. If I could borrow your hair for one day, I’d be really funny and happy. That hair is nice. Lookin’ like Pee-wee Herman and a pineapple had a baby.

(Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

O Canada!

Rob Fee is a writer and comedian best known for writing and telling jokes. You can follow him on Twitter @RobFee to read more of these jokes or go to Del Taco. He’s probably there.

Spoiler: Badger was the real mastermind manipulating Walt & Jesse into building a meth empire for him this entire time.

Spoiler: Badger was the real mastermind manipulating Walt & Jesse into building a meth empire for him this entire time.

Rob previously asked ten weird questions of such Twitter luminaries as Elisha Cuthbert and Matt Jones, aka Badger from Breaking Bad.

More from Rob Fee

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