1. So what are you up to right now?
At this very moment, I just closed all the tabs in my incognito-browser session to answer these questions. I’ve processed the guilt and made peace with the shame. If I may leap upon the promo-pony for a quick ride, I’m about to host a new season of Let’s Ask America — it’s a gameshow where contestants (read: YOU!) can play from home via Skype, and win $50,000 just for having an opinion about the fine people of this country. I’m also hosting the Pointless Podcast (available on iTunes/Stitcher), wringing my hands over the literal tens-of-dollars we’ve made with our new Merch Store and overseeing various projects at my production company Super Creative. I’m officially saddle-sore. Pony, dismounted.
2. Be honest, could you even come close to finishing the American Ninja Challenge?
Nope. Not a snowball’s chance. However, I REALLY do think I could have completed the first stage. Not in qualifying time, mind you, but I was physically capable of navigating each obstacle a few years back in Japan. I was so completely amped up and psyched out by the pressure, adrenaline and overall energy of the event, that I didn’t even know I was eliminated when my foot hit the water. Every Ninja told me the key to the log-drop was to hang on as tightly as possible with your arms. I’m an obedient grasshopper and I managed to avoid letting go; in turn, I completely ignored the “legs and feet” portion of the challenge and skimmed the drink. Failure. I sought out the ninjas afterward to confront them with my American-Rage™, but ended up gagging on smoke-bombs the moment I pointed my finger.
3. Is there a dream guest you have for Attack of the Show that you haven’t had on yet?
Well, the show is no more, so I’ll have to update the Wiki. In its heyday I would have loved to interview Jon Stewart, Louis CK, Bill Maher, Leslie Nielsen and Steve Jobs (rest their souls). If Attack were still here today, it’d be Snowden and Assange, undoubtedly.
4. Without fear of judgement, what are your top five favorite movies of all time?
- Terminator 2
- Naked Gun (series)
- Black Mirror. I’m cheating this is a Channel 4 mini-series, but it deserves a metric-ton more love and appreciation.
5. Can you describe the last three picture messages you’ve received on your phone?
The DudeBros in my life have a friendly competition where we try to one-up each other with incredibly tasteless imagery. The three images I’ve received today include:
- A petite woman on a couch frowning beneath three sizable MS-Paint “snakes” that are hissing inches above her face.
- Three men reclined on floral-print bedspread in head-to-toe furry coyote costumes, making pointed use of their frontal midsection trapdoors.
- A selfie of my girlfriend smiling genuinely in her new Civic.
That last one JUST came in.
6. What’s the strangest celebrity encounter you’ve ever had?
While interviewing Sacha Baron Cohen at a junket for his movie Borat, he pulled down my pants and underwear to expose my “Krem,” as he called it. The studio was reluctant to release the tapes of that encounter to my producer, but they did, and it aired.
Also, Mickey Rourke spitting into his hand on live television while audibly sizing up my adorable female co-hosts and friends. He was a real gem of an interview. I had a few words about that — once he left the studio, of course. I’m a coward, sure, but an honorable one.
7. Are there any TV shows you’re keeping up with right now?
Sadly, yes. Master Chef, Hell’s Kitchen, anything with a Ramsay screaming at faces, really. I love Shark Tank, that’s probably my favorite show on television. Huge Daily Show, NTSF:SD:SUV fan, Ray Donovan, Extreme Weight Loss, Workaholics, Real Time, VICE, Conan, Kimmel, Orange is the New Black (co-viewing, I’m a sucker), and… oh, BLACK MIRROR! Seriously, torrent this show everyone. It’s amazing.
8. How do you feel that on your IMDB forum there is a heated debate between a Futurama fan and a Dragon Ball Z fan over which show sucks?
I feel the same amount of emotion as an IMDB forum user accomplishes in a typical calendar year: zero.
9. Who are some of your favorite accounts on Twitter?
10. What are three underrated games that you would recommend?
Underrated? Hmm. How about three typically unheard of “indie” titles:
Fish Listening to Radio – Perfectly simple group gameplay for players of any skill-level.
Hidden in Plain Sight – A great party game drenched in deception.
Thomas Was Alone – A platformer bursting with complex character and simplistic graphics.
**Bonus: Mount Your Friends – A must-play to comprehend. Guaranteed to cause immense giggling.