The Most Bizarre SkyMall Products

written by Rob Fee

If you’ve ever been stuck on a long flight, chances are you’ve flipped through the pages of a SkyMall catalog. While some of the products are innovative and somewhat useful, many of them are completely insane. I have stared at a few of their items for way too long trying to figure out who on earth would possibly buy this thing. Here are some of the most absurd actual SkyMall items.

Skyrest Travel Pillow

Here’s a convenient item that gives you all the joys of looking like the creepiest person on earth while also letting you experience what it’s like to terrify the person seated next to you as you slowly inflate this giant slab of pillow. There should probably be an FBI watch list of people who have bought one of these.

skyrest The Most Bizarre SkyMall Products

The Bed Bug Sleeping Cocoon

This is basically a bigger Snuggie, isn’t it? Also if you anticipate staying at a hotel that would have bed bugs, maybe save the $79.95 you were spending on the cocoon and upgrade your hotel. Problem solved!

SM1

The Personal Fireplace

 When I think of a fireplace I think of a crackling fire full of logs and bellowing smoke into a chimney. This glorified candle is definitely not a fireplace. Who on earth would pay nearly $100 for a tiny flame that requires fuel cans sold separately?

SM2

Fernando the Chihuahua

We all know that Chihuahuas originated in Mexico, is there really a need to include a tiny sombrero? More importantly, why is there such a wide price range? I’m assuming they just add in more and more little sombreros, but I could be wrong.

SM3

Tap Water Bottle

 This may be the most ridiculous product in the entire catalog. You didn’t misread that, it’s a bottle used to store tap water and it’s $16.95. You realize it’s cheaper to pay the water company for a month of water than it is for this bottle to store a few ounces of said water? Shockingly enough, there are no reviews yet.

SM4

The SlumberSleeve

Here’s a great product if you have a habit of falling down on the ground and going to sleep. It’s the SlumberSleeve! No need for a pillow when you can just contort your arm into an uncomfortable position and lie on it until it goes completely numb!

SM5

Wrist Cell Phone Carrier

 There are so many things wrong with this. First of all, who wants to walk around with a giant armband that has a phone sticking out of it? You’ve completely obstructed your hand from being used in any way. Second, she still has to hold her phone so what’s the point?

 SM6

Wine Glass Holder Necklace

 If you are at a respectable establishment having a glass of wine there is no way you’d pull out this wine lanyard. More importantly, if you’re drinking so much wine that you often lose the use of your hands and the ability to hold a wine glass yet you still want to drink more wine, you are a raging alcoholic and should seek help immediately.

SM7


He may not have Molly Ringwald, but he's got Emmy Braggingrights.

He may not have Molly Ringwald, but he’s got Emmy Braggingrights.

Rob Fee is a writer and comedian best known for writing and telling jokes. You can follow him on Twitter @RobFee to read more of these jokes or go to Del Taco. He’s probably there.

Gifted comedian, dapper dresser, American goddamn hero. (Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for ESPY)

Gifted comedian, dapper dresser, American goddamn hero.

Rob previously asked ten weird questions of such Twitter luminaries as Jon Cryer and Jordan Peele.

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