Gif Life Lessons VI: Pain & Glory Edition

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Luis Prada’s a columnist for Cracked, and his work can also be found...
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by Luis Prada

GIFs! You love them. We all do. They’re easily digestible and they repeat on you endlessly. Well, if they’re easily digestible they wouldn’t repeat on you. Man, I messed that one up right out of the gate.

Anyway, want to learn some lessons about life without watching all the “On a very special episode of…” episodes of old sitcoms? Well, here are some GIFs…

You Can Miss Opportunities By Only Inches

Source: 4GIFs.com

Source: 4GIFs.com

Check out that guy. He’s so happy. He just wants to share in a celebratory bro hug with his ice-gliding homie. But, as you can see, he shoots for the moon and got nothing but a face full of ice that’s probably coated in sweat and hockey spit. He so wanted to embrace his teammate, but his opportunity passed him by only a hair’s width.

That moment applies to so much more than a dude soaring through the air only to fail at a hug hilariously. Say you go to a job interview. You’re more than qualified for the position you’re applying for; you’ve got nothing but amazing, glowing references, you have years of experience under your belt, and wherever you went you left a fantastic impression on people. But, the job goes to a guy who had all of that, plus he made eye contact with the interviewer for 1.7 seconds longer than you did, and his hand shake – while not as firm – was slightly warmer, loving, like the embrace of a fondly remembered dead family member. You had the job in your grasp, but you lost it because some other guy’s grasp was like a romance novel made of fingers.

You’re not always going to lose in a close game with opportunity. Sometimes it’ll be a blowout and you’ll later laugh at how massively you blew your chance. The only thing to do in either case is to let yourself feel the sorrow and pity for a bit and then get right back to work. Maybe next time you’ll win and it’ll be a blowout in your favor.

Instant Karma Is Probably Real

Source: GIFAK.net

Source: GIFAK.net

Just don’t be a dick, you guys. Seriously. I mean, you can be a dick if you’re unaware of it. We all do that from time to time and it can’t be helped. But if you’re doing something that you know to be quite dickish, just stop and walk away, never to return to that action again. If you’re not going to do it for reasons of humanity, kindness, or empathy for the pain or humiliation of others, do it so karma doesn’t punch you in the face.

Take this GIF, for example. That’s a man from Australia stealing a purse in a shopping mall. He makes a dash out of the mall, only to be abruptly stopped in his tracks by a magnificently cleaned automatic sliding glass door. The moment he hits the glass, he flops like a corpse, his fall being broken by a lovely bed of jagged glass. That guy caught karma on a day it was feeling in the zone.

Sometimes karma gets backed up with all the punishment or rewards it has to give out, but on this day karma got it’s work done early and was just sitting around playing Minesweeper, waiting for more work to come in. Then this guy stole a purse and karma was on the case. BAM! He smacks the door and is promptly karma’ed. The scumbag survived, and he actually was able to get away after his accomplice dragged his limp body back to the getaway car (really? A getaway car for a purse snatching?), but karma did its job.

Don’t be the person karma obliterates with well-timed and well-earned justice.

There’s Nothing Better Than Stripping Down After A Long Day

Source: gifcraft.tumblr.com

Source: gifcraft.tumblr.com

Days can be long and tough. You go to work, you bust your ass, you take crap from bosses and underlings. Then, you’ve got to drive home. It’s a small reprieve, yet one filled with its own annoyances: a***hole drivers, traffic jams, every radio station is playing that one song you hate, except for NPR, and they’re doing a 40-minute piece on African genocide. Every second of your day is slathered with stress.

And then you get home. You walk through that doorway and it’s as if you passed through a hermetic seal that protects your abode from all of the world’s annoyances. When that sense of relief hits, there’s only one, almost innate, human reaction. That reaction is in the GIF. Your clothes explode off of you in a violent expression of relaxation. On a day-to-day basis, this might be the most satisfying thing to happen to you all day, and I don’t mean that to sound sad, as if your life is so pathetic that changing out of your outside clothes is a riveting as your life gets. Everyone – extremely rich or dirt poor; exciting life or dull – basks in the glory of this moment. It’s one of the few things we all share in common. It’s primal; it’s shedding your skin and getting comfy with who you really are. Out there, you’re supposed to wear this shirt and those slacks and those uncomfortable shoes. But in here, in your home, it’s all you, baby. Go ahead, kick your feet up as your testicles hang down. Enjoy this time. It’s you time.

It must feel even better if you’re a nudist.

Some Days You Just Can’t Catch a Break

Source: 4Gifs.com

Source: 4Gifs.com

That kid is having a series of breaks that he couldn’t catch with a fishing net. Every time he tries, he’s forced to eat soccer ball. He’s hit once, BAM. He gets up immediately only to – BAM – get hit again. And then, to top it all off, the ball went out on him and the other team retains possession.

Once is tough enough, but getting hit in the face twice by the same kicker only seconds after the first hit creates an excruciating amount of pain and shame. But, there’s always a bright side. That kid may have gotten hit in the face twice, much to his embarrassment, but hey, he made two stellar defensive plays. That’s a massive net he needed to protect. In sports, as in life, you use whatever you’ve got, however you can. In this instance, that kid used his face. Twice. In a row. It probably made him feel awful. But that ball never crossed the goal line. That kid looked foolish doing exactly what was expected of him. How he did it may have been ugly, but the end result is the same — he did his job. Good job, kid.

Incredible Things Happen When You Turn On A Camera

Alex Stack via Vine via WPEC-TV 12

Alex Stack via Vine via WPEC-TV 12

Let’s start this off by saying that the person in the truck is okay. He had a heart attack while driving on the highway. While having a heart attack, suddenly whatever you were doing seems so trivial and easy to let go. In this case, the thing that was easy to let go was a steering wheel. The truck drifted into a median, then launched off an incline. Again, he made a full-recovery.

This GIF proves one thing: there’s magic in video cameras. Turn on a video camera and point it at something. In time, something extraordinary will happen. It may end up being on the low end scale of extraordinary but it was extraordinary none the less. It’s an unexplainable phenomenon. The person recording this footage saw a truck in the median so they decided to turn on the camera on their phone. Within seconds, they captured something they didn’t expect in the least – that person filmed a moment out of an action movie. How often do we get to see a car of any kind launch into the air in real life like it’s being driven by Jason Statham? Once in a lifetime, if you’re lucky (or however you would categorize such an event). The camera person began recording with the intent of recording one event and ended up getting a much more spectacular event instead. Nothing was planned. It just happened. And that person captured that moment forever, simply because of the powers of a video camera.

Keep your cameras on, folks. You just might capture something amazing.


Not a red-letter day.

Not a red-letter day.

Luis Prada’s a columnist for Cracked, and his work can also be found at FunnyCrave, and Holy Taco. You can find him on Tumblr at The Devil Wears Me, and on Twitter.

WE CAN HAS GIFZ?

WE CAN HAS GIFZ?

Luis taught you the invaluable GIF Life Lessons, Part 5 and talked to the animals in Life Lessons from GIFs: Animal Edition

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