How to Run a Marathon without Killing Yourself

But we're flexible on that last part
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You're going to get healthy even if it kills you! ...Unless it literally does kill you. That would be counterproductive.

You’re going to get healthy even if it kills you! …Unless it literally does kill you. That would be counterproductive.

DogBadge Writers Andrew Slafta
Andrew Slafta is a "hopeful comedic writer" with an emphasis on the...
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by Andrew Slafta

So you’re psyched up for the New York Marathon, and you think it’ll be you there next year, breaking through the tape while an army of Kenyan competitors trails behind you, their anguished expressions a testament to your fleet-footed victory. Yeah, right! If you want to have even a prayer of finishing, you’ll have to train yourself up through our ABCs of self-punishment.

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