The 5 Hardest Days to be a Cop

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Kind of surprised #1 isn't National Do PCP & Steal a Car Day (April 31st, if you're wondering!)

Kind of surprised #1 isn’t National Do PCP & Steal a Car Day (April 31st, if you’re wondering!)

DogBadge Writers W. Tyler Paterson
Tyler Paterson is a Chicago native that tours the country with his...
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The police have one of the hardest jobs on the planet. Their day-to-day consists of dealing with the people who commit crimes, break the rules, and have a general disregard for, well, just about everything. Yet, there are still days when the police force has to take a deep breath, count to ten, and say “Here we go!” It’s not because they’re up against the worst of the worst, it’s because they have to deal with the true crazies…us normal folk.

Halloween

After tackling thirty or so drunken "zombies" our police force be taken wholly by surprise when the real undead apocalypse occurs.

After tackling thirty or so drunken “zombies” our police force be taken wholly by surprise when the real undead apocalypse occurs.

With everyone in costumes, body paint, face paint, and drawn to social gatherings, it can be immensely difficult to keep tabs on everyone. On any other day, someone dressed like a woodland elf or a sexy Obama would raise red flags, but on Halloween anything goes. Just imagine a traffic stop involving a bleeding zombie, or a domestic dispute involving a pirate and a wizard.

As an outsider, this might sound like a great time, but in reality it is much harder to do your job when someone has had a bit too much to drink as the Incredible Hulk and then starts to believe they actually are the Incredible Hulk.

Christmas

For example, this supposedly "peaceful" scene is actually a violent drug deal gone wrong.

For example, this supposedly “peaceful” scene is actually a violent drug deal gone wrong.

For a day designed to bring together families and friends, there is still the need for peace and order. The police have to still work on a day that most of the country still has off. This is hard enough as it is, one can imagine they’d like to be with their families too. Yet when it becomes clear that the family that’s only seen once a year is only seen once a year for a reason, and the reality of debt sets in to make people happy for a day becomes too much, normal loving people tend to do some…not so loving things. In these cases, we still need to police who are away from their families, to keep peace and joy on Earth.

St. Patrick’s Day

Turns out there are no photos of St. Patrick's Day we can show on a nice family site like this one. This is the only representation that's safe for work.

Turns out there are no photos of St. Patrick’s Day we can show on a nice family site like this one. This is the only representation that’s safe for work.

If this one doesn’t scream obvious, not too much else will. A day towards the tail end of winter designed for an all day drink fest? Break out the riot gear. Every of-age man, woman, and youngster takes to the streets with drinks in hand to watch parades, eat food, and drink literally all day long.

What’s the difference between someone who’s been drinking since 10 a.m. and someone who’s been drinking since 5 p.m.? At 10 a.m., you still have the whole day to make bad decisions. If this becomes the mob mentality, then the police better stock up on paddy wagons and advil because it’s going to be a long day.

The 4th of July

Uncle Sam, aren't you hot in that suit at the beach?  More important question -- is GQ's bevy of American flag bikini -clad models there with you?

Uncle Sam, aren’t you hot in that suit at the beach?
More important question — is GQ’s bevy of American flag bikini -clad models there with you?

It’s summertime and it’s hot. People flock to the outdoors for barbecue and fireworks. Even though selling fireworks is banned in most major cities, it doesn’t stop those citizens feeling American Pride rushing through their blood to trek the hour or two away to another part of the state where fireworks are legal. When they bring them back to the city and decide to light them off in alleyways, public parks, and backyards, the probability for an accident is enormous.

Add some booze once the night falls to packs of people armed with fireworks and it becomes one dangerous situation. It’s not that fireworks might sound like gunshots, it’s…oh wait, they do.

For a cop, the 4th of July is a whirlwind of staying alert and maintaining safety among people who decide to throw it out the window for a day.

The Cop’s Birthday

After five tough holidays, it's head-desk time, even if there's a cake betwixt ye.

After five tough holidays, it’s head-desk time, even if there’s a cake betwixt ye.

In almost any other profession, a birthday would mean friends and co-workers smiling over cake and presents and maybe the boss lets your workload slide a little. Not as a cop. Just because it’s a birthday doesn’t mean people will suddenly behave. On the day dedicated to celebrating your birth, you still have to deal with speeders, pick pockets, violent crimes, petty crimes, and all sorts of other nastiness.

By the time the work day is over, there’s hardly enough time or energy to go out and celebrate, so next time you think you have it bad at your job, think of these five days that will always be worse than yours. Then go out and help make their jobs a little bit easier by not acting like you get a day pass to be a total lunatic, even if it is “Drink the Beer!” day.


This product makes us headdesk too. via OstrichPillow.com

This product makes us headdesk too.

Tyler isn’t a cop, but he’d tell you if he was. Not because he has to, but because he wants to lay his heart bare to you, girl.  

Admit it--you were going to drink your way through the winter holidays no matter what.

Admit it–you were going to drink your way through the winter holidays no matter what.

Get through your own personal hellidays with The Most Insane (but Awesome?) Gifts For The Holidays and the copious amounts of alcohol found in EveryCon: A Guide to Holiday Bar Crawls.

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