Movie Reboots, Sequels & Remakes That Must Never Happen

If you’re like me you’re wildly, deeply and profoundly unsuccessful. And because you’re unsuccessful you’ve got very few pleasures in your deeply unsatisfying life. One of my few pleasures are movies, I love movies. In fact, I love films so much that after watching the atrocity that was Fast & Furious 6 I set myself on fire in protest.
So because I love film I hate Hollywood. These a-holes won’t leave good films alone (there are three versions of A Star Is Born with a fourth expected!) or worse; add sequels where none are called for. Especially annoying is when they reboot franchises that don’t need rebooting. How many versions of Spider-Man getting bit by a radioactive spider or Superman riding to earth in his baby rocket does the world really need? Everybody knows the origin of the web slinger and the guy from Krypton; there is no reason to keep telling them. With this in mind, let me formally request that Hollywood please just leave the following films alone. Do not reboot them. Do not create sequels for them. Do not remake them. Do nothing to them. Keep the few instances of film justice alone.

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