Peanut Butter, Jelly & Scrambled Egg: Don’t Try This At Home

It’s National Peanut Butter Day! Let’s make it weird…

After reading one too many moms on my Facebook feed describe the lovingly-made sandwiches they packed in their kids lunches for the back to school season, something in me snapped. I don’t know what got into me, but suddenly I thought it would be fun to write an article that rounded up all of the awesome variations on the classic peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“There’s got to be a lot of great combinations out there,” I thought, calling Nutella, artisan jams and homemade sourdough bread to mind. And, to make things really interesting, why not try them all myself and write fun, pithy reactions about the nostalgia attached to eating a childhood sandwich. Ambitious and excited, I crowd sourced: I asked everyone on my Facebook and Twitter feed about their favorite versions of the old favorite. It was then I realized just how wrong I was. This was not going to be fun at all.

“Peanut butter and scrambled egg,” one of my (now ex-) friends immediately offered. “Just jelly and mayonnaise!” someone else chimed in. By the time I got to peanut butter and jalapeños, I was ready to do some serious de-friending.

But I had committed to the project, so I took a trip to the grocery store to stock up on ingredients. As a disclaimer, I kind of hacked this project. I did buy sprouted whole grain bread, French cornichons instead of pickles, and a few varieties of thick, seed-packed jams in addition to the smallest jar of grape jelly I could find. Essentially, I made choices that solidified the fact that my future children are going to hate me a whole lot.

I also want to confess the fact that I started a small kitchen fire while assembling the sandwiches. I would give you the details but honestly, all you really need to know is that I’m down one tea towel but still have all of my eyebrows and lashes. It was a relatively minor loss.

You’re really interested in the peanut butter bonzana, though, aren’t you? Well, if you so insist on reaping enjoyment out of my misery, we might as well do it with pictures.

Next: Peanut Butter, Jelly & Potato Chips

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