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If You Like Sharks & Torpedoes, You’ll Love ‘Aquaman’ #28

And if you don't like those things, get the hell off our site
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Hail to the king, baby

Hail to the king, baby

Aquaman catches a lot of teasing — including from us — but he’s a good guy. The kind of fellow who will pull over his car and help a stranger with a flat tire — or possibly pull over his submarine, and instead of a flat tire, it’s a shiver of sharks (yes, shiver, that is the collective term) that want to eat you because you’re diving without protection .20000 leagues under the sea.

How are you able to do that without being crushed by more than 2/3 of a mile of seawater above you? We can’t even rest a bucket on our head without our neck getting cramped, and you’re joyriding in a shock of sharks? (Shock is also an acceptable collective noun for sharks. You live, you learn!) You are a badass!

But no, leave that question aside. Here’s a better one — you’ve got radar that can detect Aquaman from far away, but you didn’t scan for dangerous predators twice his size before jumping out there? Aquaman might be the hero of this book, but Coombs is the real star. Without superpowers, he is choke-holding Neptune and daring the sea to do something about it. We salute you, Coombs! In a world of supermen and omnipotent space-cops, you’re taking on the world with nothing more than your unstoppable spirit of adventure.

Jeff Parker writes this tale of fortitude and Paul Pelletier makes it look good:

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If we were Aquaman, we’d ride a great white shark everywhere.

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It’s fun to picture Aquaman as a cranky, reclusive lighthouse keeper: “You kids stop agitating that sea monster’s brain with lightning this instant! D’ya hear me?”

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We built a city block-sized underwater complex at the ocean floor in six months? Humanity is the coolest!

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You trained for an Aquaman attack but not for a shiver of sharks taking interest in your unprotected diver?

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Forget it, Art–that shark’s already got one of his arms off. You’re better off letting your finny friends finish lunch.

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Look at this badass variant cover. This version of Aquaman pays iron, not gold.


Brendan McGinley is editor round these parts when not writing comics or Cracked columns. You can say a neighborly hello to him on Twitter @BrendanMcGinley.

Want more hard-boiled brutality? Check out The Private Eye and more in Nine More Comics for Hardcore Geeks.

Who can say no to the ol' 1-point perspective angle on a pistol?

Who can say no to the ol’ 1-point perspective angle on a pistol?

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