Possibly Silly but Totally Effective Ways to Get in Shape

One would guess that if you happen to be fat and you happen to be a Jew it would never occur to you to go around calling yourself “The Fat Jew.” Which means, you’re no Fabrizio Goldstein.

And because you’re no Fabrizio Goldstein it probably also never occurred to you to use those Citi Bikes — which have popped up around New York City the way crack dealers used to back in the 198os — as stationary cycles to get yourself in shape. But that’s just what he did. And he called it SoulCycle For The Homeless. 

In this article from The New York Daily News Fab, who fancies himself a comedian, admits this started out as a joke but now he’s 100% serious. Which is cool, the only problem is (well, not the only problem, homeless people probably don’t have a pressing need for cardio exercises.) Citi bikes offer no resistance. And resistance is pretty freaking important. Sure, what he’s doing is better than sitting around eating (sweet, delicious) Fluffernutters (with a glass of cold milk…mmmm) But if you really want to burn calories this isn’t the most productive way to go about it.

Goldstein is right about one thing; it does cost a lot to join a gym. So what do you do if you’re not homeless but you are on a Ramen noodle budget? Well, I have a few ideas…

Now, I’m no expert but if you take 15 minutes out of your day and do these at least three to five times a week, you might still be Jewish (if you are already) but you certainly won’t be fat. If you’re not already Jewish, sorry, these won’t get you closer to joining the people of the book.

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