All Hell’s a-Coming to ‘Constantine’ #12

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Was it Thanksgiving at your racist aunt's house? Because that's our hell.

Was it Thanksgiving at your racist aunt’s house? Because that’s our hell.

John bloody Constantine, always muckin’ about where he’s no business. This month finds the worldly warlock ensnared in a trap called the Thaumaton Wheel, which is using him and his Justice League Dark buddies as batteries to fuel…well, we don’t want to spill any beans we don’t have, but our guess would be “portal to hell.” Of course, that’s our guess no matter what the question. It makes job interviews very awkward. Except for that time we applied to be security guards at the portal to hell. We got the job, but who wants to live in Stockton, CA?

Anyway, we’re getting off-topic. The silver-tongued Briton has been just barely getting his team through a relentless rampage of mystical threats lately, and it seems they’re finally up against a foe they can’t handle when Johnny boy‘s old mentor, Nick Necro, came back from Hell to team up with Felix Faust. (Alliteration is very important to evil wizards.) With the whole team out of commission, the JLD finds itself knock, knock, knocking on Hell’s door.

Check out our preview below, and then follow your insatiable desire for more to DC’s issue page. They say the two are fighting to save Zatanna’s soul, and where this book is concerned, that’s probably not just a figurative language.

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Okay. We choose Constantine. Ooh! Wait, is the other guy good at basketball? Our team needs a fifth man.

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…Swamp Thing?

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Whoa. Bummer.

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The candle budget for your average wizard is almost as costly as that of the average cat person.

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Cigarette burns are how abused people say hello.

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This is almost word for word the argument you had with your wife last week.


Brendan McGinley is editor round these parts when not writing superhero comics of his own or Cracked columns. You can say a neighborly hello to him on Twitter @BrendanMcGinley.

How not to make comics: be a plagiarizing tool. Find out more in Candy Crush Saga, Shia LaBeouf, and How Not to Create.

Art is no excuse for mistreating other people.

Art is no excuse for mistreating other people.

 

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