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Draft Day? No, Draught Day!

Our drinking game succeeded a little too well...
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Everyone's first round pick (Photo: Thinkstock)

Everyone’s first round pick (Photo: Thinkstock)

IMG_20131125_074254 Brian Cullen
Brian Cullen really, really enjoys robots but doesn’t understand how...
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Hey sports fans! Draft Day is upon us, so we thought we’d drink our way through it, one round at a time. Remember–the draft itself takes place over three days long, so it’s a good thing we’ve got a maladjusted sense of self worth and a 24-hour bodega across the street. So grab a beer, and without further ado–here are the rules for Draught Day!

TAKE ONE DRINK:

  • Every time Michael Sam’s name is mentioned outside of the context of Roger Goodell announcing his actual drafting
  • Every time time the name “Jadeveon Clowney” is mentioned
  • Every time Johnny Manziel is compared to Tim Tebow
  • Every time you realize that she really meant it this time, and Karen really isn’t coming back
  • Every time a talented player starts to fall in the draft, and he gets compared to Aaron Rodgers
  • Every time a quarterback gets taken in a late round, and he gets compared to Tom Brady or Russell Wilson

 

DRINK HALF A BEER

  • Every time you see a terribly tacky suit
  • Every time the announcers try to respectfully and intelligently discuss Michael Sam, but instead, accidentally put their feet right in their mouths
  • Every time you get an email from work wondering where you’ve been the last two days
  • Every time the announcers praise the Patriots‘ draft strategy, even though, for the life of you, you can’t comprehend it
  • Every time classically bad teams like the Lions or Browns make classically bad draft decisions.
  • Every time you check Karen’s Facebook page. Wait, who the f*** is Joshua??

 

Next: Drink a full beer when….

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