Say a Fast Goodbye in ‘Detective Comics’ Annual #3

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Batman gets larger with each ass he kicks, and he's been kicking ass for 75 years.

Batman gets larger with each ass he kicks, and he’s been kicking ass for 75 years.

DogBadge Brendan McGinley
Mr. McGinley is the editor of Man Cave Daily. Shame on him.
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Hey, man, c’mere. Whatcha looking for man, whattayouse need? Maybe some ice? Smoke? Herb? Ick? Don’t give us that look, you know what ick is. Icarus, baby, the newest stuff on the market. Turn you into the Flash’s slowpoke brother for the next hour, but be careful you don’t take too much. The dopes who can’t handle it light up like a Roman candle when they over-accelerate their bodies. But hey, till then, you’ve got superpowers, maybe even move fast enough to take out the Bat. Imagine the street cred you’d have then.

Quiet, did you hear that? Sounded like rustling up on the skylight.

Hunh. Musta been rats or sumpin’.

Anyway, yeah, Icarus is everywhere in Gotham these days, thanks to the crime lord known as the Squid and the gang called The Bastards of Black Gate. Which is apparently a word you can use in superhero comics these days, but we digress. You want to get your hands on some, you’d better buy it from us, because your only other source is Detective Comics Annual #3, and that’s not out till tomorrow. This preview is what you might call a monopoly on the commodity. Fortunately for you, we’re feeling generous and sharing this first taste for free–

*ker-krash*

Cheese it! It’s da Bat!

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Imagine how much crime Batman could smash if he were eight stories tall! Now imagine how hard it would be for him to skulk around in the shadows.

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Say what you will about Gotham, at least its gangs have awe-inspiring names.

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Listen, if you want to rule this city, you can’t make rookie mistakes like leaving your junkie probational member with the skag.

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You can’t propose to a girl until you shoot up one last time. That’s in the Bible somewhere.

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That limo’s super-stretched so it can accommodate all of this Fredo-caterwauling from Jonny.

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After that, Julian and Jonny were best friends. That’s the power of beer.

Read the rest tomorrow in Detective Comics Annual #3!


Brendan McGinley is editor round these parts when not writing comics or Cracked columns. You can say a neighborly hello to him on Twitter @BrendanMcGinley.

You know we interviewed Charles Soule, right? He told us that “Things Can Fall Apart Any Second” in this book.

Return in red. <em>(Credit: DC Comics)</em>

Return in red. (Credit: DC Comics)

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