Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can, including bite his opponent to dissolve them from the inside. No? Okay, well, most everything else. But Peter Parker’s a busy guy, between classes at Empire University, dating not one but two brainy models, and getting paid almost as much for every selfie he takes as Kim Kardashian does. What does he do with his limited downtime? We followed the fearless photojournalist to find out.
How did we elude his infallible spider-sense? Easy! We just put on this super sneaky spy suit synthesized from space-age symbiote! Turns out ol’ Peter Parker can’t detect you when you’re wearing one of these ba…
Th–th–thes–OH GOD, IT IS INSIDE OUR THOUGHTS. GET IT OUT! Kill it with fire! It is whispering dreams of loneliness among the stars! It–it wants to eat Parker’s brains so he can be part of it forever!
While we’re dealing with this venomous situation, please enjoy the chronology below.