You Can’t Trust the Help in ‘Batman Eternal’ #18

Think you’re safe from the Bat just because you commit your crimes far from Gotham? You made two mistakes. The first is that no one is safe from Batman and his bat-family of bat-agents. The second was entering a life of crime, son. For you see, society is composed of contributors and parasites. Not in a creepy Randian sense, just in a “Hey you! That’s not your TV! Put that down!” sense.

Or, if you want to get complex about it, there are parasites in the guise of contributors, like bankers and financiers who steer the economy over a cliff. Or toy manufacturers who will completely destroy your idea of what a toy factory is like. No, it is not some Wonka-esque cavalcade of wonder, although there is a river of sludge that kills children. So…dang, yeah, Roald Dahl actually called that one better than you’d think. Anyway, it’s all about to come crumbling down around evildoers’ ears, because Batgirl, Red Hood, and Batwoman get sent down to Rio on a mission from God and/or Batman (the distinction is negligible). They are not happy to discover slavers pointing rifles at children. Suffice it to say, none of us are, but we don’t own batarangs.

Oh man, if we owned batarangs. Then look out, Brazil.


Tumblr laughed when we said we’d make this Harry Potter/Batman/Fantastic Four crossover happen in continuity one day. Well who’s laughing NOW, shippers?


So…should we not be buying Batman toys?


“And after this, we’re going to liberate all those soccer fans!”


Hey, Andy Clarke! You draw really, really well. Like, even for a comic book artist. Go ahead and buy yourself a beer and send us the bill.


No no no, she said she needed to go out and get high on tea…in Gotham all the cars and slang are from the 1920s.


“Really? Because you look more like a rando chasing us with a gun in a part of town that never gets any cops.”

Well sir, we don’t know about you, but we’re going to get our full fix of this sweet Andy Clarke art in the next in Batman Eternal #18, out tomorrow. And don’t go anywhere without reading our mega-interview with half the creative team:

Brendan McGinley is editor round these parts when not writing comics or Cracked columns. You can say a neighborly hello to him on Twitter @BrendanMcGinley. You’d probably enjoy his supervillain comic Heist, if you’re a fan of tarnished souls and brutal retribution. 

Down we go.

Crime pays.

Brendan recently interviewed Gail Simone on what makes for great character moments.

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