Life Is a Bonus Round

Old-school Superman let you know real fast whose town you were in.

The Lamest Copies of ‘Action Comics’ #1

For three-quarters of a century nothing has lived up to its name as hard as Action Comics #1. And you know that’s true because on Sunday it once again set the record for the highest […]

Writers–08/25/2014

Nobody likes a Viking.

What’s Your (Awful) Social Media Personality?

The ninja endures excruciating physical strain to succeed at difficult tasks. Standing out online means not calling yourself the exact same thing as tens of thousands of other people. So “social media ninjas” suck at […]

Writers–08/07/2014

Pictured: turtle power  (credit: Thinkstock)

The Truth Behind the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Weapons

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: proof that you can make millions of dollars by throwing darts at a dictionary, as long as you cross out all the unradical words and replace darts with ninja stars. In […]

Writers–08/06/2014

Science MUST know the effects of doing science drunkenly!

What’s the Focal Length of Whiskey?

People talk about beer goggles, but goggles are meant to protect those working in dangerous situations with a lot of dirt and liquid. Which can be tremendous fun. But they still restrict your view of […]

Writers–07/31/2014

Everyone's wondering if Marvel overreached with this movie for having such weird source material, and we're just sitting here remembering when everybody predicted the same thing for "300" and "Sin City."

What You Don’t Need to Know About the Guardians of the Galaxy

This week you’ll see many articles explaining what you need to know about the Guardians of the Galaxy before seeing the movie. Which is nonsense. All you need to know is the name, and how […]

Writers–07/29/2014

Solved: why bulls get angry at the color red. 
(Yeah, we know, bulls are colorblind, ya spoilsport...)

5 Fun Cocktails For International Tequila Day

Tequila has famous cocktails in the same way Julius Caesar had a famous friend called Brutus – a glorious power betrayed and destroyed by those meant to help serve it. The true Margarita has gone […]

Writers–07/24/2014

Too much said, even.

‘Sharknado': The Worst Worst Movie Ever Made

Sharknado is getting a sequel. It must be stopped. Because it’s worse than the worst movie ever made. They could film the ten-thousandth zombie movie, fulfilling an ancient prophecy to resurrect the rotting god of […]

07/14/2014

It absolutely will not stop, ever, until the franchise is dead.

The Tale of the Tired Terminator

Schwarzenegger has revealed that in the next Terminator movie we’ll see the flesh of T-800s age, because CGI body doubling is still really expensive. Hopefully Skynet will be able build titanium-coltan alloy zimmer frames as […]

Writers–06/25/2014

This man brought rock 'n' roll to space.

The Greatest Self-Help Book Ever Written

Self-help books have a reputation for being terrible. Because they are. They’re worse wastes of paper than a Toilet Paper Recycling License application form. The textual equivalent of someone patting your shoulder and saying “There, […]

Writers–06/24/2014

There's no single correct way to make a martini, but lord, there are some wrong ones.

What’s the Perfect Martini Ratio?

The martini is the one of the greatest drinks in existence. Notice how I didn’t say cocktails. I said drinks. It’s second only to Manhattans and water, and even then only because water has a […]

Writers–06/19/2014

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