Luke McKinney

biosize Luke McKinneyLuke McKinney writes about games, drink, science, and everything else that makes life amazing. He’s a columnist on Cracked and writes for several beer magazines. He’s also available for hire. Follow him on Tumblr and Twitter @lukemckinney.

Rest in pieces, presumably at a GameStop.

The Death of Consoles

The resurrection of the dead is always associated with the end times, but the resurrection of the living is even worse. Because that means something was killed just to make it happen. We’ve already seen […]


Jason in Space. Space. Space! SPACE!

The Worst Things About ‘Friday the 13th’

They’re making Friday the 13th the 13th, and that’s not a joke, a parody, or a typo, even though it really should be all three. The upcoming 2017 Friday the 13th is a re-reboot and […]


Hey, you! Quit jacking that lumber!

4 More Awesome Sports Which Deserve More Respect

America focuses so much wealth and attention on football you’d swear jealous sports scientist were generating new particles in a Large Human Collider. But the only thing they’re proving is that greed can destroy anything. […]


Yum-yum, rum.

Rejoicing in Rum

It’s a rum business, the distillation and sale of fermented sugar cane. But only because of an unfair reputation. Centuries of service on sea and land have saddled this spirit a rough reputation. As if […]



The Best Real-Life Uses for Bond Gadgets

Bond is the ultimate stereotypical man. And that’s ultimate as in last. He’s the final improvement of all our obsolete urges, violently defeating every man he meets with the advanced use of tools, and smoothly […]


Boy is everyone going to be disappointed when this opens up on an empty killing field.

Bond Villains Unlimited: What if James Bond Had Never Been Born?

What if James Bond had never been born? By now tuxedos would be obsolete, the vodka martini would be at the bottom of the cocktail list where it belongs, and saying surnames before first names […]


Every month should be pizza month. We should just live in the Pizza Eon.

Celebrate National Pizza Month with 4 Appalling Pizza Products

October is National Pizza Month but we don’t need any such excuse. Pizza is to people as pi is to math: a perfect circle which solves so many other problems just by existing. Pizza is […]


"I'm acting like this and giving you tools and you STILL can't choke me."

The Manly Guide To Ties

The tie is how you harness your own neck to intimidate the rest of the world. “Look at me!” you cry, “I’m so powerfully stylish I can give strangers a hand-hold AND a throttling loop […]


Her eyes are up there, but don’t worry, the light will be bent to where you’re looking.

4 More Ridiculously Sexy Video Game Costumes

Video game characters technically don’t need clothes because virtual environments reduce raiment to two functions: looking more attractive and avoiding obscenity laws. And many games draw the exact line between them. Games render nipple armor […]


It's already regressed our illustrations to 1998's idea of quality CGI.

How Internet Advertising Is Reversing Evolution

Advertising is the pollution of the internet. Our current level of technology means we have to keep producing to do all the cool stuff, but it can make everything look horrible, and if you take […]



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