Patrick Braud

Patrick is a freelance writer, comedian and man-child living in Chicago. He is a comedy junkie and is particularly fond of stand-up and cartoons. He also enjoys a fine glass of brandy and hunting humans for sport. You can see the dumb comics he occasionally draws on his whiteboard on his Tumblr. You can also read short jokes and hear him complain on Twitter@fatfraud.

This is the incorrect way. You are going to hurt yourself.

How to Rage at Inanimate Objects

by Patrick Braud There are many inanimate objects in this world that undoubtedly deserve your righteous fury. The fates of the universe may have misaligned your timing with that of their machinations, or they may [...]

Writers–2013/05/06

Let’s Dial Back on the Whole Bacon Thing

by Patrick Braud The Internet loves bacon. This current generation of young, Internet savvy folk have seen to it that bacon is now less of a food as much as it is a punchline for [...]

Writers–2013/04/26

Each candle represents someone's feelings he has hurt with his words.

Now We Pay Video Games to Make Us Feel Bad

by Patrick Braud Last year, the game Spec Ops: The Line was released to critical acclaim. No characters were carried over from the Spec Ops series, no stories, nothing. It was its own little entity, [...]

Writers–2013/02/08

Maybe you did this. Is this even a thing? Has this ever happened to someone who wasn’t in a stock photo?

How to Live with Other People (Like A Jerk)

by Patrick Braud So you’re moving in with some new roommates. If you’re consulting this guide I’m guessing that you’re an only child and this is the first time you’re living with other people. Or [...]

Writers–2013/01/18

"Oh, that's so sad. Let's help that poor Nigerian minister of finance."

We Must Hide the Internet from Grandma

by Patrick Braud Okay, to start off let me say that I’m very impressed. When once I had to come over to your house and “fix” your computer by simply closing the two-hundred popup ads [...]

2013/01/08

Poison -- the gift that keeps on taking.

Christmas Gift Ideas (For Your Sworn Enemy)

by Patrick Braud Welcome, friends, to the season of giving! Welcome to the season of love, harmony, friendship, caring for your fellow man, and of course, public drunkenness and petty revenge. But now the ante [...]

Writers–2012/12/21

© 2012 Microsoft Corporation
Nothing so awkward as wearing battle armor to an idyllic valley.

The Plot of Halo 4…We Think.

by Patrick Braud For those of you smart enough to go straight to Xbox LIVE upon purchasing Halo 4 and never looking back, congratulations! You made the right choice. My experience with the campaign was [...]

2012/11/30

How to Date (Like a Jerk)

by Patrick Braud Hello, there. If you are consulting this guide, then you want to learn how the socially awkward, oblivious, or simply neurotic individual might navigate the dating scene. If you are socially well-adjusted [...]

Writers–2012/11/20

Halloween Costumes for the Manliest of Men

by Patrick Braud Gentlemen (who reside in caves), the annual “Day-Of-Getting-Wasted-While-Dressed-In-Ridiculous-Garb” is now upon us. This Hallow’s Eve, those of us who don’t hate fun will participate in the ritual and feel tremendously sorry for [...]

Writers–2012/10/31

“Yeahhhh, I’m gonna need your brains on my desk by 5.” – Office Space Zombies

Why I’m Not Scared of Zombies Anymore

by Patrick Braud I used to have nightmares about zombies on a semi-regular basis. I’d always figured the reason they scared the crap out of me so much was because no matter how awful and [...]

Writers–2012/10/23

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