An Ode to Derek Jeter’s Black Book

Derek Jeter is a lot of things that we can be jealous of: a legendary New York Yankees shortstop; a multi-millionaire; a good-looking guy that dates more beautiful celebrities than we would ever dream to see in real life.
The Derek Jeter Girlfriend Retirement Tour
Luckily, Jeter is retiring from baseball this year, and will hopefully settle down and retire from the dating pool as well to give the rest of us a shot. At least in a fantasy that doesn't include a cameo of Derek Jeter giving us a thumbs-up.
Derek Jeter is a lot of things that we can be jealous of: a legendary New York Yankees shortstop; a multi-millionaire; a good-looking guy that dates more beautiful celebrities than we would ever dream to see in real life.
What do you do when you're an All-Star shortstop on a baseball dynasty team? If you're Derek Jeter, you start dating one of the most popular and beautiful pop singers at the time. In the late 90s, that was Mariah Carey.
Mariah Carey: 1997 - 1998
We can only guess that Jeets would have asked Mariah to wear some of her stage outfits for him in private. We sure would.
What do you do when you're an All-Star shortstop on a baseball dynasty team? If you're Derek Jeter, you start dating one of the most popular and beautiful pop singers at the time. In the late 90s, that was Mariah Carey.
Of course, Derek Jeter fulfilled the sole reason that we all want to become professional athletes: he dated a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model.
Bridget Hall: 2000
This time around it was Bridget Hall, who showed us that, yes, a swimsuit photo doesn't need a complete swimsuit.
Of course, Derek Jeter fulfilled the sole reason that we all want to become professional athletes: he dated a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model.
How do you know you keep company with the most elite ladies? When you start dating THE elite lady, Miss Universe.
Lara Dutta: 2000 - 2001
That's right, Jeets once had the greatest woman in the universe to break in the millennium, Lara Dutta. She obviously must have listed her love of sports in her dossier to gain that title.
How do you know you keep company with the most elite ladies? When you start dating THE elite lady, Miss Universe.
Derek Jeter both continued his conquest of pop singers and began his conquest of the TV series 7th Heaven when he dated Joy Enriquez.
Joy Enriquez: 2001 Derek Jeter both continued his conquest of pop singers and began his conquest of the TV series 7th Heaven when he dated Joy Enriquez.
Once again, Derek Jeter was able to find two things in one woman that most men believe is only a fairytale: beauty and boost pressure.
Jordana Brewster: 2002 - 2003
In this case, he found it in Jordana Brewster. Granted, boost pressure is a reach considering the Fast and the Furious franchise were only movies, but close enough.
Once again, Derek Jeter was able to find two things in one woman that most men believe is only a fairytale: beauty and boost pressure.
Derek Jeter had an on-again, off-again relationship with former Miss Teen USA '98 / model / MTV personality Vanessa Minnillo.
Vanessa Minnillo: 2003 - 2006
It figures: only Derek Jeter can leave a woman like that and have her take him back.
Derek Jeter had an on-again, off-again relationship with former Miss Teen USA '98 / model / MTV personality Vanessa Minnillo.
Remember when you first saw Jessica Alba in Dark Angel? You probably pointed at the TV screen and said, "Yes," as you filed her away into your fantasies.
Jessica Alba: 2004
Derek Jeter allegedly pointed at the TV screen, said "Yes," and went out with Jessica Alba soon after.
Remember when you first saw Jessica Alba in Dark Angel? You probably pointed at the TV screen and said, "Yes," as you filed her away into your fantasies.
Derek Jeter continued to dip into the well of beloved geek culture when he was rumored to date Scarlett Johannson in 2004.
Scarlett Johansson: 2004
Was Jeets a fan of Ghost World or Lost In Translation? The world may never know.
Derek Jeter continued to dip into the well of beloved geek culture when he was rumored to date Scarlett Johannson in 2004.
Another alleged conquest of Derek Jeter was the great Vida Guerra.
Vida Guerra: 2005
You may know Ms. Guerra from such awesome moments as showcasing her assets in the rap video for "Shake Ya Tailfeather" and posing for Playboy in 2006.
Another alleged conquest of Derek Jeter was the great Vida Guerra.
In order to expand his resume of stunning supermodels, Derek Jeter allegedly went out with Victoria's Secret angel Adriana Lima.
Adriana Lima: 2006
Unfortunately for Jeets, Lima's strong religious views probably kept him out of the batter's box.
In order to expand his resume of stunning supermodels, Derek Jeter allegedly went out with Victoria's Secret angel Adriana Lima.
To continue his work in 7th Heaven, Derek Jeter also managed a relationship with Jessica Biel.
Jessica Biel: 2006 - 2007
Biel can also be considered coverage of the 1st through 6th heavens as well.
To continue his work in 7th Heaven, Derek Jeter also managed a relationship with Jessica Biel.
As if Derek Jeter wasn't led into his nightclub of choice every night on a floor covered in pin-striped rose petals, he reportedly dated nightclub manager Rachel Uchitel.
Rachel Uchitel: 2008
This was probably an ill-conceived idea, as men normally use their VIP entry into nightclubs as a way to woo women.
As if Derek Jeter wasn't led into his nightclub of choice every night on a floor covered in pin-striped rose petals, he reportedly dated nightclub manager Rachel Uchitel.
Thought to be "The One" that would finally get Derek Jeter off the market and give the rest of us a chance in the dating pool of NYC, Jeets was on and off with Friday Night Lights starlet Minka Kelly.
Minka Kelly: 2008 - 2012
At the moment, they are on hiatus, causing sad-faces worldwide. We'll see what happens when he finally retires.
Thought to be "The One" that would finally get Derek Jeter off the market and give the rest of us a chance in the dating pool of NYC, Jeets was on and off with Friday Night Lights starlet Minka Kelly.
How does one purge themselves of Minka Kelly? If you're Derek Jeter, you go and date another Sports Illustrated swimsuit model like Hannah Davis.
Hannah Davis: 2012
The two have reportedly broken up, meaning that either Jeets will focus on baseball during his last season with MLB, or will break our hearts yet again by dating another of our fantasy girls.
How does one purge themselves of Minka Kelly? If you're Derek Jeter, you go and date another Sports Illustrated swimsuit model like Hannah Davis.
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