Elijah Bates
Summer Blockbusters? Don’t Mind If I Don’t!
Listen, it doesn’t matter the year because summer always follows the same damn formula. Every June needs a Green Lantern. Each July has gotta have its own Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. And all the Augusts I’ve [...]
Vince McMahon’s Top 5 Wrestlemania Moments
DISCLAIMER — Before I begin, I just want to clarify something: I love Vince McMahon. I appreciate what he’s built, and I celebrate who he is as a character. No joke, when I graduated from [...]
Buy Flowers Like a Boss
So you’ve decided to buy flowers for a pretty lady. Congratulations! You’re officially already that much closer to having a girlfriend-caliber dame right in your hands (instead of yourself), which is almost always a plus). [...]
Top 5: Most Forgotten Technologies
Technology. Over the course of human history, it’s brought us some pretty wonderful things, hasn’t it? Whether keeping bulbs lit and illuminating our lives or building the blocks of the basic medicines that keep us [...]
Modern Technology As Predicted by Star Trek: The Next Generation
MySpace…far from the final frontier. On the contrary, these are the voyages of the Facebook generation. Their continuing admissions: to text strange new words; to Tweet nude pics and discover new methods of self-glorification. To [...]
Top 5: Extinct Social Norms Caused by Facebook
As the fickle b*%$@ known as technology continues to chug along and progress, we as a people tend to forget the old ways in which we took care of formerly ordinary stuff: birthday stationary was [...]
Part 4: Tips, Tricks & Assorted Advice
Beyond all the tips on false interests, camera tricks and age range disasters, there are thousands of other tricks to keep you from getting sucked into strange, inconvenient or uncomfortable situations in the free online [...]
Part 3: A Range Of Deranged Ages
Look, before I get too far, let me just preface this article by stating that, when dating, it’s never a bad idea for any single guy to keep an open consideration towards a range of [...]
Part 2: Lord Of The Camera Tricks
A well-known fact: Peter Jackson used a smattering of simple camera tricks to make Elijah Wood look like a Hobbit while standing next to genre-anchored idiots like Orlando Bloom. A lesser-known fact: female participants of [...]
Part 1: They’re Not Really Her Interests
Us guys? We’re definitely weirdos. When it comes to snagging someone totally out of our league, no one uses more crude tricks, stalkerazzi tactics and mannish mind games than a lovelorn dude who hasn’t been [...]

















